Trying to have happy marriage

@comunicationstruggle

It is difficult especially in long term situations and while counseling works at the moment we cannot live in the counseling session all the time.    Also you may be looking at other items .... anger and such can be a symptom in some for other items and a chemical imbalance. 

I think there could be underlying things.... that while we talk about them we can be trying to connect and agree  ... we may even acknowledge our issues ......but it does not change decades of miscommunications or habits that often pop up. 

For example my partner has habits of procrastination ...and is never on time thinks they know better then anyone else. 

this  can get under my skin in .5 seconds  and when they continue to do it ...  it makes small item  a big issue. .... even if it is relatively minor and often IF i tell others they think "no big deal."  ....but one small thing done a million times with no change is like death by a million cuts.     it is no longer about we missed a plane or the pick up food order is ice cold.... but  to me it is "YOU do not respect me enough to change this annoying habit even a tiny bit"   

Counseling  has told us "let go of such small things and work on it .... see all better "  .....

i let guard down and have had ice cold food  i get to take apart to reheat so why bother ... so now i refuse to get takeout because of this would rather not eat.... problem NOT solved. 

@comunicationstruggle

That’s tough. I’m in the same boat and there’s really nothing you can do but control yourself by not opening the door to more anger. When someone is angry at us we feel baited and think we can talk it out, but sometimes even addressing it logically can lead us into a trap. It may not be healthy advice but withdrawing from those moments can keep your sanity and dignity intact.