Uhh
Idk why sometimes I’m so insecure with my relationships with people… I’m so scared of being a loner but at times I wonder if my connection is genuine with my friends? I’m the type to stick to one group, and my friends well they aren’t they’re very social and that’s normal I get it. I know I won’t be the closest to them, but I question if I’m even close to them at all? I barely talk to them at school I barely text them and when I do I get seenzoned in the gc at times… I spend so much of me towards them but idk at times I feel like we aren’t close at all. Just yesterday I planned so much for this friends bday I thought to buy her shoes she rlly wanted I thought to make her a booklet with all of us greeting her and I thought of getting her a cake too even if we’d be at school in her actual birthday ; tbh I’m not that close w her and idk what made me do all of that but *** it kinda hurts thinking oh yeah they wouldn’t do this for u Ykwim? Like I’ve been friends w these ppl for a long time but idt they know me they don’t know what I rlly like. I might be reaching rn but idk anymore
@rainster
it sounds like you want a closer friendships then you have now ... they may seem superficial.
while the thoughts of doing big things for others B-day etc is very nice doing this for someone you are not really that close to sounds like you doing it for other reasons like perhaps being seen as a great friend... in group chats do you participate or wait hoping someone will ask you something?
having friends and being friends requires both sides reach out ... text / call /plan..... if you want more do more if this group in not into being a closer group or responding then find others who will.
