Vent/ needing emotionally support regarding my situationship

Been in a 3 year long "committed relationship " with a man who told me 2 years ago he'd never love me and didnt want the same things I did.

So we became fwb- It was supposed to be temporary. But where I failed here ...I fell for him early on. He told me to find someone else , I tried and came right back.

I know what i need to do. I need to leave. I know and I KNOW! but even though I want to and need to....I also dont want to.

Despite what was said. The not-relationship definitely has changed and grown except for some big key things.

I know i sound delusional but, what makes this harder, is that his words and actions don't align.

He says he can't love

Yet

Acts and shows affection like his is actively in love.

I generally don't push things. Because he was brutally honest with his wants and expectations. Its my fault for staying.

But on the occasions I do complain or push...he agrees and offers to change. Which is EVEN MORE CONFUSING.

Wouldnt someone who isnt committed and not interested just run?

Whenever I talk to my friends/family they say it sounds like he loves me. And while I feel the same...I refuse to accept it because he told me he wouldnt and agreeing would make it harder to hear him say he doesn't.

To everyone I know...they say were in a relationship...even if he refuses to admit it.

Theres a lot of good...and a lot of meh

Im not sure what I want out of posting this? I don't want to just be told to leave because it doesn't help. I already know that...idk maybe looking for other advise (if there is any😭) or emotion support??

Important info:

30F

29M

Both 1st relationship