Visiting long distance boyfriend and it's going downhill...
Hey, I'll try to keep it short.
I met my boyfriend online back in January this year. He lives in the UK and I was in Asia. We clicked very well and we ended up getting together officially in May, as him and his family had already planned a family trip to my country.
After getting together and him going back to the UK, I started feeling vulnerable. But I've always told myself to not worry as I am the one he chose to be with. But there were times where I would let my emotions get the best of me and perhaps came off as quite insecure and passive aggressive. Lately, I felt that there was more distance in our relationship, so I thought it was mainly due to our own work stress. Thinking it would be all good when I visit him.
I've planned a family trip in Europe in mid Aug, so I planned a stop in the UK before I meet with my family. I expected maybe we'd have some sort of talk about it, but instead he told me there's something in our relationship that he doesn't see would get us very far. Pretty *** time to say that, yes. But to keep it short, he said he didn't like the way I was being insecured and it really turned him off. I understand I wasn't like this when I first met him, and I'm trying to change it. And I told him it was a result of us not being too communicative of things, so we just channeled our feelings incorrectly.
I said I wanted to fix things and move forward, as I really do love him. But he seems kind of reluctant but at the same time unsure. He says he needs to figure out some stuff of his own... Don't know what that is but. Here we are... I never beg (or do anything similar) for someone to stay, but I really loved him and I don't want to this end... Because before all of this, we were invinsible.
I don't know what to do you guys, :/
@krunchytaco
It sounds like you have been going through a difficult time with your boyfriend. It can be very challenging when feelings of insecurity and distance come into play in a relationship. However, it's important to remember that you are not alone in these feelings. Many people struggle with feelings of vulnerability and self-doubt in relationships, and it's okay to seek support and guidance from others.
It's also important to remember that you deserve to be with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are – including your flaws and insecurities. While your boyfriend may have some valid points, it's also important to remember that his actions and words are not a reflection of your value as a person. It might be helpful to take some time to focus on yourself and your own wellbeing, and seek professional support if necessary.
As for how to make things work with your boyfriend, it's important to remember that it takes two people to make a relationship work. If he truly cares about you and the relationship, he may be willing to work with you to address the issues that are causing problems. However, if he is not willing to put in the effort or if his feelings have changed, it may be best to accept that the relationship has run its course.
Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship that makes you happy and fulfilled. While it might be difficult to let go of someone you care about, it's important to prioritize your own wellbeing and happiness. And if the relationship is causing you more grief than happiness, it might be time to let go and start a new chapter in your life.
You are a valuable and unique person who deserves to be loved and respected. It's okay to work on yourself and seek support when needed. And, while it may be difficult at times, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. I wish you all the best in your journey. ❤️😊
Hi! The situation must be really hard for you. It's understandable that it gets tough sometimes when insecurity comes in between. However, your acknowledgement of your own feelings is the first step towards change. I also admire your willingness to improve. I can't give you an advice but I want to tell you that you matter and it's okay for both of you to take your time and then decide what is best for you. Also, it's very important for two people to be there for each other but to be there for themselves too. We're more likely to have a healthy relationship when we're healthy ourselves.💛
What would be the first step you'd like to take forward for the change?
@krunchytaco
Hey Krunchytaco,
It sounds like you're going through a challenging time in your relationship. It's positive that you're recognizing areas for improvement and are willing to work on them. Communication is key, so try having an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns. It's important to give him space if he needs time to figure things out, but also express your willingness to work on the relationship together. Keep in mind that relationships require effort from both sides, and sometimes taking a step back and focusing on personal growth can help strengthen the bond between you two. Remember, love is a journey with its ups and downs. Stay patient, and I hope things work out for the best. 🌟