Weird Fellings In My Relationship :(
So I have just recently gotten back together with my ex, we had previously separated due to a *** ultimatum one of us was given. We worked past that and have gotten back together not long ago. Now I am in the current situation where I feel like I feel no emotion towards her, before we got back together I wanted nothing more then to be with with her but now I feel drained almost and as if I have no romantic feelings at all. Every time we kiss or cuddle I just feel anxious or like I am going to mess it up somehow and I find no enjoyment from kissing it just feels awkward to me. I honestly think she deserves someone better then me because it feels like at the end of the day I have two personalities and one is where I act all lovey dovey to her then the other is just me distancing myself. I know this is a horrible way to go about this relationship and I really have no idea what to do. This is the first relationship something like this has happened to me in. I think I love her but I don’t know, if anyone has any advice or any idea of what I’m going through I would appreciate comments!!
@Wazowski6211
It sounds like you do love this person and their validation and acceptance matters a lot to you. From what you've shared, it's as if you feel that their acceptance of you is conditional on you meeting all their expectations with zero space for mistakes. Could the detachment be a defense to subconsciously prepare for the day a mistake is made?
@Wazowski6211
sounds like you were the one given the ultimatum and now are too self conscience to enjoy the relationship...being in one only on her terms is a waste of your time.
Even if at one point you did have feelings for her... sounds like that is gone... when it feels awkward or not the same to kiss her etc... until you resolve your inner feelings it will not be right... It is OK to have figured out this is not working for you to move on to find someone that gives you feelings and you can be yourself with.
