What am I not seeing?
I ended a relationship of about 4 years, about two months ago. Before it ended I knew for months before then where it was headed. She more or less checked out and slowly distanced herself. I finally had a talk with her and we decided that our paths were on slightly different courses and that it would be best to just end it than prolong things. I was totally fine with that as I don’t think I was getting out of the relationship what I was putting into it. I just couldn’t do it anymore and accepted the fact that it wasn’t meant to be.
Moving forward two months I got back on the dating apps and met someone. So far things have moved along very well and quickly over the last month and half/two months. Many would probably jump to conclusions saying that it is a rebound which is what I am struggling with. As for criteria in a potential partner, I have a fairly long list that is almost impossible to fill. The last girl I was with fulfilled a good part of it but not all. The new girl I’m seeing now checks off even more qualities than the last and is what I consider a proverbial unicorn/ diamond in the rough.
The struggle I am having is trying to figure out why my feelings for the new girl are so strong. Is it rebound? Is it infatuation/excitement of a new relationship? Fear of losing out on a rare opportunity? Or are the feelings I have for this new girl real and legit?
@1in8billion
Maybe your feelings are a combination of all you have thought of.
Rebound: it is a good feeling to move on after a breakup to know you are attractive to others ... this also goes with the FUN of a new relationship and finding out about each other etc the fact she checks off more of what you have identified as qualities you are seeking in a Win and if you have a long list as you say it can be exciting to find a person who fits.......
Finally are feelings real and legit....... No one but you can answer that and frankly in the beginning of any relationship we tell ourselves it is ... sounds like you are a practical person but with feeling overthinking about it will make you question forever.