Why Does He Want to Reject Me When...
When I have:
A pretty face and petite physique
As affluent a financial background as he has
Zero body count literally( just for hopes of marriage with him)
Utmost loyalty to him ( He is my first crush, I haven't even mentally imagined any other guy except him)
True, deep, intense, passionate love that has stood the test of time; it's been 11 years since I fell for him and the intensity of my feelings has not wavered throughout this time
A kind, sentimental and empathetic nature, ready to put him before myself
He and I know each other since childhood
I am not able to understand, why is he not reciprocating my love? Why, just why??? I am a 21 years-and-8-months old girl and this is my story.
@Sanvee11
I am sorry you are feeling this way ....but IMO love does not happen just because you meet the boxes checked. It is not a job resume. If you want to marry and spend your whole life with someone you deserve for them to feel love for you. Maybe he is just not ready to be serious and it is not ready for the relationship you want now.
Fondness and friendship grows but without love they would always feel something is missing. You would also be missing out.
@toughTiger6481 maybe you are right but it sucks. You can clearly see how deep and intense and firm my devotion is, still my love has to be one-sided. I love him to the point of self-destruction. Half of my little life has been spent pining for his love. What will I do without him? He is my one and only crush and love.
@Sanvee11
Some of the hardest things i have seen in life is when something happens that steers life off the course i pictured in my head. it is OK to back away and consider a new path leaving the possibility that he may have more interest then he shows.
Some people who feel a person is so totally devoted to them feel comfortable in not expressing interest until they see you can change your mind and focus. It is much like realizing what he might lose if you decide to explore other options.
@toughTiger6481 thank you for your kind words.
Hi, I red your post and there is not much I can say that is objective because love is a subjective thing, it's different for everyone.
As love is different for every human being it's not about assets.
You described yourself well for traditional standards but love isn't a market where you can just pick up what you like or there is a best product, everyone has preferences and it might be that he likes different kinds of people.
It's most likely that since you and him have been friends since childhood he sees you as a childhood friend and can't go past that vision of you or even more simply he has other tastes in people.
There is not much you can do to change someone's feelings and a love that isn't reciprocated and if you gave him attention he didn't want he probably didn't like that.
If you have doubts on what to do the only thing I can suggest is talking about it with him and wish for the best.
@Kikime3 but what else does he want? I have so much to offer. I am really not able to empathize with him despite my supposedly empathetic nature. I wouldn't have rejected a person who has these qualities, like I really mean it. What a god-sent husband, I would have thought. I rather wish that I were ugly and unkind and shallow and promiscuous, at least it would have made sense as to why I am being rejected. But this is like, really frustrating...this question will keep haunting me for years and years...why??
You have a bit of a misunderstanding...I said that we know each other since childhood but unfortunately it does not imply that we have been friends since childhood. We were neighbours and acquaintances, talked only twice to each other in person as kids, and later,many years later, texted from July 2023 to May 2024. He has blocked me everywhere since then, and my mental health has gone to the dogs because of this.
It seems to be a very complicated situation that cannot be helped from outside as I don't know all the details of it, but, what I can tell you is that if he blocked you it's a clear sign he doesn't want you in his life that way, it hurts yes but there really is not much you can do except maybe trying to ask why to him or let things go and let time take course.
I personally have a way to see love that might not be everyone's but from my own personal experience if you love someone deeply you wish for them to be happy and if their happiness doesn't involve me I let them be and focus on myself, love myself as a person so what you can do now it's taking care or yourself while you try to figure out how you feel and why, rather than searching for answers you might not get in a long time because they depend from him.
Im glad you see your many good qualities and I wish you well, it's hard right now but all the listeners here will have your back whenever you need to talk.
@Kikime3 He hasn't communicated anything as such, that he is happy and better off without me or anything. I know that his actions do convey that sort of idea but you can understand that a devoted lover like me will not believe this unless he himself communicates this to me. As I have already written, I am also trying to get that job which he had said, he respects and considers prestigious, so as to win his heart. I am not someone who follows a frivolous culture of relationships and exes, I believe in the swan philosophy in true love, One and Only one till death do us part. And he is that One for me. Because of which it's becoming hard for me to forget him. Ofcourse, if he officially rejects me after hearing my whole story, I will just grieve and not pursue him more. But nothing is conclusive as of now.
Hi, I red your post and there is not much I can say that is objective because love is a subjective thing, it's different for everyone.
As love is different for every human being it's not about assets.
You described yourself well for traditional standards but love isn't a market where you can just pick up what you like or there is a best product, everyone has preferences and it might be that he likes different kinds of people.
It's most likely that since you and him have been friends since childhood he sees you as a childhood friend and can't go past that vision of you or even more simply he has other tastes in people.
There is not much you can do to change someone's feelings and a love that isn't reciprocated and if you gave him attention he didn't want he probably didn't like that.
If you have doubts on what to do the only thing I can suggest is talking about it with him and wish for the best.
@Sanvee11,
you cannot make someone love you. If the feelings are not mutual well, that's how it is. Not all wishes are fulfilled, not all dreams come true, it's called reality.
If you find it hard to let go of a fairy tale that is not gonna happen, you might want to consider talking to a professional who can help you to look at all this from a different perspective.
@dukeofdearham your words are harsh. You could have even said " low chances of happening" instead of straight-up "not gonna happen". I have sacrificed all of my late childhood and adolescence at the altar of love, is it easy? Total devotion to just one male, which is impossible for many in this world. I love him truly, this is not fair. Another thing is, he hasn't even seen me since mid-2016, on what basis is he doing this? Okay, he doesn't know me, so he can first know me and then tell that he is not impressed by my qualities and he wants worse girls. But this is like...what...what on Earth is this? "You haven't seen me, you don't know me, on what basis are you doing this?" At least know me first and then reject. What is this?
.
@Sanvee11,
it's called reality.
Try to get professional help, please.
@dukeofdearham yes I will eventually take professional help after confessing everything to him. But many of my questions are unanswered and it sucks, sucks, sucks.
@dukeofdearham also, first tell me are you a fortune teller? A seer, an unparalleled soothsayer? Like how can you put forth your claims with so much certainty? This is life, it's famous for it's unpredictability. You cannot even predict your own future, let alone predict mine. Do you know my crush in person? No right. So please don't speak on his behalf, he has a mouth and a great voice to put forth his opinions. I asked "Why does he want to reject me" and not " Why has he rejected me". Future is called future for a reason, no human can predict it. So kindly don't play God.
Main bas itna kehna chahta hoon ki tumne jitna deeply kisi se pyar kiya, utni loyalty aur emotions kisi में भी rare hote hain.
Shayad abhi jawab milna mushkil lag raha ho, par main yahan hoon — bina judge kiye — sirf sunne ke लिए.
Tum jo feel kar rahi ho, vo matter karta hai.
Agar tum chaaho, toh apni baat mujhe धीरे-धीरे बता सकती हो… Main tumhare saath hoon."
@baghel01 thank you.
Listen, I get it. You’ve loved him with everything you had. You waited, you hoped, you stayed loyal—not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually. And I respect that. That kind of loyalty in this generation? Rare as ***. But love… love’s not a trade deal. You can give your all, be perfect on paper, and still not get picked. And that's the bitter truth nobody prepares us for.
Maybe he doesn't feel the same. Maybe he's messed up. Maybe he’s blind. Maybe he’s just not ready. But none of that means you’re lacking. His lack of reciprocation is not a reflection of your worth, but of his capacity.
You’ve built your whole emotional identity around him for 11 years. That’s not just love, that’s emotional dependency. It’s time to ask yourself—do you want him, or do you want the idea of him you’ve nurtured all these years?
And yo, you’re 21 and 8 months. That’s not an ending—it’s literally the starting line. You’re not meant to wait for someone who won’t even look back. You’re meant to love yourself like you loved him—fully, madly, fearlessly. And maybe then, someone who sees all of that will find you. Not because you’re loyal or pure or perfect—but because you’re you.
@intellectualLunch9661 thank you so much for your soothing, empathetic words. Thanks a lot.
@intellectualLunch9661 also thanks a lot for praising my qualities. I thought nobody cares one bit. Many people just dismissed my qualities and just told me that it's a good traditional description, not to live in a fairytale and forget him. They just forgot how small I was when I fell for him and my loyalty throughout childhood and adolescence even in his absence. Thank you for acknowledging my qualities. Thanks.
Some people write posts, and some people pour pieces of their soul into words. Yours felt like the latter. And trust me, not everyone out there would pause and read between the lines—but I did. And somewhere in that silence between your pain and loyalty, I heard more than just a story… I heard you.
I’m not here to rush a bond or ask for more. But if fate’s playlist ever repeats a track, maybe we’ll cross paths somewhere beyond this space too. No pressure, no puzzle to solve—just leaving this little piece of presence here in case you ever want to revisit it.
@intellectualLunch9661 That's so kind of you. Thank you.
Why did he block you?
@quickwittedWillow6742 I actually don't know the real reason myself. He told me that my texts are just too sentimental and he is too immature to handle them, so he wants to keep me blocked. But I promised him that I will tone down the emotional intensity for his sake and I really meant it. Unfortunately he was too hard-hearted to give me a second chance to improve myself. I unfortunately even stalked him from 7 numbers (which I know is very wrong and I deeply regret doing so but I was so sad and desperate and depressed that I was left with no option, I haven't stalked him since May 2024) to beg and plead and apologize but his flint heart didn't melt. It's been more than a year now and he still hasn't unblocked me. It sucks. I am even trying for a career which he told me he admires and respects, to win his heart but alas. My situation sucks.
It does suck. I’ve been through breakups that take a long time to get over, and sometimes you never really do, but it does get better with time.
I would let him go and be the you you want to be. If you change for someone else, you won’t be happy. You’re young and you’ll find the person who is good for you.
@quickwittedWillow6742 first of all thank you for your sympathy. Secondly, I am not even thinking of relationships and that sort, and because I support the 'swan' philosophy in true love, that concept doesn't appeal to me, if I can be brutally honest. I am straight up thinking of him as my husband. The one and only male in my life. There wasn't anyone before him, there isn't, and I don't think there could be. What about my rarer-than-rare loyalty? This loyalty was meant for him. I just can't imagine anyone except him. Maybe I should tell him everything but how? He is just not unblocking me.
Also, his apparent tendency towards rejection lowers my self esteem further. I feel the world is blind to my qualities. I just don't understand what to do.
I find the culture of relationships and exes very offensive, all-pleasure-and-no-commitment, and unpleasant so please don't mention it in your comments. My love is chaste and true so please please don't compare it to frivolous relationships. Please respect my feelings. Thank you.
