Wife withholds affection
My wife is over weight. 43% body fat. I have told her a million times what to do about her weight. She responds with the whole textbook of not taking ownership, defensive, deflect, excuses, rationalizing, avoidance, and then doesn't talk to me when I express my concern.
She is now getting kicked out of her military school because she's overweight. To avoid this she lost 15 pounds with drugs, sauna, and dehydration. She failed anyway. This infuriated me past the point of holding my tongue. She failed to listen when it mattered, waited too late, then cut corners to try and deal with it and still failed.
This led to me lecturing her and saying like "this is too much" and she just told me what I want to hear seemingly disengenuously. Then using the excuse "I'm just tired I don't want to argue". We haven't talked in two days.
I'm at a point where I want to leave her and just eat a big plate of problems like the house we just bought, etc.
I feel like I've had enough of her Trainwreck behavior. And the withholding of any attention at all makes me want to never talk to her again.
I'm so frustrated and sad and hurt and angry, and I just want to get rid of her this is so painful.
@chef123456789
Her not trying or listening waiting until last minute and still failing sounds like she may need some help with her feelings. There is a reason even if others do not understand our reason for inaction. You cannot change a person only yourself. If she wants to change she will. Talking to a counselor or therapist could help her find what is she is going through. Maybe she was scared she would fail on her own effort.......so being kicked out from weight seems easier to accept.
Have you told her how she makes you feel? That you are frustrated and sad you can not help? . No matter how much we want to fix or help a person we will get same result of the pretend to agree and say what we want to hear. Whatever she is going through weight issues etc. trying to lose for someone else or even something else does not work........ it is when we do it for ourselves it sticks. sadly sometimes we lose a partner or person before we reach a point where we take control of whatever is our issue.
