Will this work? We both have been stressed
I F18 have been dating M20 for 3 years. I am so so so in love with him and felt like he was in love with me too. We had a cute love story and so many memories together and we still act like we are in the honeymoon stage. But I had this issue that I am now working on fixing where I would bring up breaking up and pretend to break up with him after small arguments and fight for hours over tiny things and when he would try to ask me to wait until the morning or something so he can get some sleep I would get mad and say he’s letting me go to bed angry even if he had work or something important to do. He is a really good writer but if he chose writing over me I would feel abandoned and if he tried to talk to me about it I would just get upset because I felt as if he chose writing one day instead of hanging out with me it meant he didn’t love me as much as writing. And he said it made him start to view me differently and made him become exhausted because if he tried to talk about it with me I would get mad and threaten to break up with him and I asked if he was still in love with me and he told me that he just needed a break and we both just cried in each others arms for an hour and he said he just needs a break to be able to find himself and to be able to come back and be better for me and so I can have time to grow and become less dependent on him. He said he will text me to keep me updated but it’s for the best and it’s the only thing he knows how to do. He’s giving it until June 1st it’s march right now and said if either of us need more time for the break we can take more time. Can we work out if we are both willing to work as hard as possible?
@Ashlee777
It sounds like you have a communication problem. How do you plan on working on that? Saying you are willing to work is only effective if you know what the core issue is and address it. That is what takes time as you approach a deadline, so identify and then be able to take ownership. both parties not just trying to blame each other's behavior on the other person.
it is not helpful to take every small slight as a reason to be mad and threaten to break up. This wears a partner down very quickly.
Hi thank you for replying! This happened when I was very young into the relationship I was 16 years old but he said it made him see me differently and it’s his own fault for not communicating. He wants to continue the relationship once he gets therapy and the proper help with other issues in his life. I started doing therapy as well to fix some issues and make our relationship stronger for when he comes back. He said he will keep me updated once a month so we don’t lose communication and so we can see how each other is doing. He is affraid he will grow to resent me if he can’t find out what he wants to do in life and he needs to prove to himself that he can and will be successful before he can be happy with me. He says he sees a future with me but can also see a future without me but he doesn’t want that. I’m just trying to get peoples insights and understanding. Do you think this will work out?
@Ashlee777
Yes, it can.
no guarantees in life but taking care our ourselves makes us stronger when we do get back together. young love is always the best but many times we are not comfortable in ourselves to be the best partner.