Work/Friendship Advise
I need advice. Backstory I work to jobs all week everyday. Only have at most one day off a month. Drama at home and single. Always lonely and busy. At one of my jobs I made a group of friends (all male) one of them I got closer than the rest. We starting texting me and wanted to go out places and bring me things but he was already in a complicated relationship with his girlfriend of 9+ years. I thought it was strange and asked him if we were just friends. He said yes but I don't think he is being honest with himself or me. What do I do?
@KeepGuessing15
I think he believes you are just friends.
If his relationship is struggling or he is unhappy people can find friendship and companionship with a friend, it can start innocent in nature but as some feel heard validated and not under stress like we may be in our current relationship.
This is a slippery slope but does not mean friendship has to end as long as lines are made clear.
I get that trully that is the reason I didn't want to stop talking to him. But he has been caught cheating before (it was just texting) which is literally what we are doing. But in my head if his girl finds out it would cause major problems. I was starting to feel guilty and ask if I could meet her like all our friends go out together plus her. He shut that idea down immediately. Also when I asked him if we were just friends he avoid the yes or no question and tells me he likes spending time with me and my company instead.
@KeepGuessing15
I am thinking it might be he likes the idea of maybe if life was different if you both were not involved. it could be Limerence. if you were to all go out her included it shatters his fantasy and brings the reality of the situation.
I know many do but I think general texting and good conversation between friends is not cheating. maybe others get 100 percent from their partner, but I know I have other friends who I like discussions with while partner is a head nodding bobble doll who does not engage in meaningful conversation.
@toughTiger6481
That might be the case but it is all confusing. 😭😭. We will just see when I see him again.
have you thought about this logically? you want them to break up so you two can be together…just for you to be with a cheater who wouldn’t trust you because you’re a home wrecker and vice versa…
No all I want is him as a friend. Yes he is a cheater but I don't want him in a romantic way. Unfortunately, I don't think he only sees me as a friend and that is causing the problems. I actually want him to fix things with his girl that way his kids can be happy but that is a whole other story. Since he won't cut things off with me, I have too which is what sucks.