a break or a breakup? what should i do?
my boyfriend wants to take a break because of my mental health. but i’m not sure if i want to help myself just yet. he’s also putting the decision of a break or breakup on me and giving me a week to decide if i want to better myself (basically for him) or to just end things. i have a lot of past relationship trauma and i may be reflecting certain things on him because im not fully healed. he says my mental health affects him and he wants me to find a therapist but i dont feel ready to get a therapist. it’s hard being the one who has to make that decision. i hate breaks by the way, they scare me especially when i don’t know if i fully trust him during a break. i need help. im torn on what to do and i can’t make a decision for the life of me
@placidBunny2641
IMO doing something for someone else .......does not last or work long term....
YOU need to do things like therapy or anything for improvement for YOU ..... It is unrealistic for him to push that on you....... even if you put yourself through that in hopes of salvaging anything and it does not stick ...... you are right back where you are Now.
I would say that the situation is not fair to either of you. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, but being in an extended family that has many mental health issues I can be just a bit brutal. Tiger is right that you need to take steps for yourself and want to, but it's not fair to expect him to be there and be happy to deal with the things that you yourself are not either. It's not your fault you're in this situation, but it's not his either and it isn't fair to expect he would want to. I am scared s***less of having a break with my partner too, and it's a little unfair to have all of that decision laid putely on you, but you ARE ultimately in charge. Be kind to yourself every day, one day at a time.
