any advice is appreciated :)
Hi guys, I’m really grateful I can share this and hopefully receive some support. I’m 16 and I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, and I feel sad almost all the time. I genuinely don’t know how to fix myself or how to feel stable on my own. I was in a relationship for two years with a boy who helped me so much with my anxiety. Being with him made everything feel lighter, and I was basically off my medication because I felt calm and secure around him. I was still a sad person deep down, but it wasn’t overwhelming the way it used to be. A few months ago we broke up, and it completely shattered me. He chose to keep other girls in his life in ways that felt disloyal to me. I don’t like putting harsh labels on it, but it felt like micro cheating and secrecy, like there were always other girls in the picture even if it wasn’t fully romantic. I gave him an ultimatum because I couldn’t keep accepting behavior that hurt me, and he chose to leave. He tried in some ways, which makes it even more confusing, but I still hold resentment and blame him for how everything unfolded. At the same time, I blame myself for relying on him so heavily for my happiness and emotional stability. It has been two months and he is still all I think about. I don’t reach out, even though he contacts me often, because I know I need to respect my standards and protect myself. Still, my heart aches constantly. I cry all the time, I feel physically sick from the stress, my anxiety’s also gotten so worse that I can’t sleep without thinking something bad will happen, I don’t think it clashes with him but it’s definitely gotten worse, I haven’t slept in days. I miss the sweet version of him that I fell in love with. I keep questioning whether I made the right decision. Did I lose someone who truly loved me over something that could have been fixed, or did I finally choose myself for once? I feel ashamed for allowing him to do certain things to me and for trusting him so completely. I never wanted us to end, especially not like this. I feel lost, broken, and unsure of how to rebuild myself without him, and I just want to know how to heal and become okay on my own.
Heartbreak can be crushing and unfortunately it's going to take time to come to terms with it and process your feelings.
Reminisce about the good times but do not put him on a pedestal it will make moving on harder. What you can do for closure is write letters to him and vent out your feelings, you don't need to post it but it might be a way to partially get it out of your system.
You broke up for a reason, that was brave to address your concerns but you did it and you were not given what you needed.
Lastly focus on taking care of yourself, whatever used to bring a smile to yourself, you need a distraction for now or try going for walks, painting, anything that appeals to keep moving forwards :)
Thank you so much🩷🩷😭🥹
