avoidant boyfriend :(
i need some advice on how to navigate this. this past saturday night i went out clubbing with my 2 girlfriends (we only go to dance i never entertain other men there). my boyfriend got upset i actually went even tho i reassure him that there is nothing to worry about and i would text him when i got home. the following day he has since been giving me the silent treatment and all he told me was “im in the worst mood i’ve ever been in please give me some time”. he knows i hate when he gives me the silent treatment and i just want to work things out between us. should i message him again apologizing again that i went or just wait for him to reach out who knows when???!
@diligentFig8000
wait for him to reach out..
you did not do anything wrong and honestly when a person pulls this silent treatment when they know it irritates you.
when we text or try to smooth these things over during silent treatment, it gives them the idea they can do this every time they want you to grovel and ask for forgiveness. let him have time to grow up
yeah i just hate how avoidant he is and when he does eventually talk to me he always says “all you’re trying to do is start an argument” when all i want to do is talk about how we can fix the problem.
i keep telling myself what i did was wrong because i disrespected his boundaries by still going to the club with my friend even tho he didn’t want me to but i honestly went just to have fun :/.
i guess i did cross a boundary of his but for him to now not speak to me, i feel like is kind of crazy? or am i wrong… i don’t know…
@diligentFig8000
He asked you to not to go but that was his opinion. You went for your own reasons knowing it was just fun. The avoidant thing is His problem not yours. Silent treatment is a power play to see if you will do as he asks. You are in a relationship that requires communication and compromise.
he is acting like a child mad he did not get his way ... you deserve him to grow up and quit playing games.