avoidant ex advice please

hi my avoidant ex broke up with me about a bit over a month ago and i have extreme anxious attachment and am willing to work through anything.

we broke up right before valentines because i found out his friends would go up to him and ask him about girls he found attractive and he would say they were attractive.

i didn’t like that and he didn’t like that i didn’t like it i begged him to not do that as it disrespected me.

i didn’t think this would be an issue because he had insane insecurities in regards to me talking to any guys he thought were exactly my type .

he was with his previous ex for 3 years and was extremely unhappy after the first three months and when i asked him why he couldn't be here for me if he was happy he said it was because he was the one causing all the issues before instead of faults being equal like us. then unfortunately i asked why picking someone else was better than just staying and fixing things he said "because i feel like i can be happy with her

i have bpd and struggle with a lot of things and definitely had my faults as well like immediately wanting to break up if i felt he was disrespecting me like one time he called his friends gf pretty and an ex partner of his friend “fine” and it broke me apart because my previous ex before him had a big issue with attempting to cheat on me while not letting me leave the relationship. another instance he called me an *** because he thought i was being mean when i was pretending to be upset about him not calling me back after he hung up instead of asking if i serious he called me an *** said he saw no issue in it because i was “acting like one” and other things that would make this too long.

he also made a big deal be i had pictures of my exes from years ago on google photos which i don't use and only use to save my photos which i deleted but he had pictures of a girl wearing a bikini in a pool that he was into a couple years prior and i only teared up and said it was making me sad and he didn't to which he responded they were just pictures he forgot to delete and then the conversation he decided was pretty much done there

i went through the worst down fall of my life so far where i was miserable and couldn’t image living a life without him and honestly i still can’t it still hurts as if it were fresh that night i wouldn’t stop calling him to which he understandably blocked my number and reached out to my best friend asking what he should do but she was honest and told him to do whatever he felt was right they both agreed he shouldn’t remove me on *** because of the state i was in.

flash forward to a couple weeks ago he started talking to another girl and she went to his bands performance and today he officially removed me as a follower and unfollowed my main and spam *** accounts but kept my friends as mutuals.

i’m not as sad as i was initially but it still hurts so deeply. i don’t understand how i could’ve done something so horrible to him when all i asked for was basic communication and respect. all i want is for him to come back and i feel like he never will.

i’m so tired of the constant attack of thoughts can anyone please be honest and give me advice. ):