being supportive while still protecting your mental space
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost two years now. As long as I have known my girlfriend she has struggled with various mental health issues. I do my best to be supportive and respectful, being a listening ear or offering advice/suggestions when she asks.
Recently, it has been getting to the point where almost every single day it seems there is some sort of crisis, something that urgently needs help, some sort of a panic attack or some other seemingly world ending crisis. I am sympathetic and in no way trying to undermine or discount her feelings, but it is at the point where it’s not only when we’re at home, she will regularly call me while i’m at work talking about how awful she feels or that she is having a panic attack.
Honestly, despite my desire to help I notice that I have been shutting down or disengaging more frequently when these types of things come up. I try my absolute hardest to be there but when it’s almost every day, it leaves me feeling like I have to disengage to protect my own mental well-being.
I suppose what I am looking for is others who have been through similar challenges and how they navigated that. I want to be there and to help, and I know it must be even more exhausting for her to go through this, but it’s exhausting for me as well.
@JustAPenguin6725
It is exhausting and we cannot do much to help even though if we could, we would. i have had many in my life like this. Siblings and my spouse now have been going through a depressive state. Spouse does not want to talk about it. we can offer an ear, but suggestions or direction not followed, or changes not made only frustrate us. We cannot help anyone who does not want to get better or is not actively trying to find what is happening or how to change.
Is she doing any professional treatment, or therapy? At a certain point we need to protect our mental wellbeing and set limits on the amount stress and strain we can absorb. Maybe set boundaries regarding calls at work etc as this is stressing you. We really cannot help when our mental health deteriorating. Telling them that helps.
@JustAPenguin6725
You are a genuine.
Down to earth and lovely person
It's clear you care.
It's important you feel appreciated and heard too .
Yes, it's hard and exhausting for her, but ultimately she has to put in the work, to be happy and to heal.
Only she can find coping mechanisms in her daily life that work for her.
You are doing your best 💜💕
