disrespect
lately my boyfriend is being so weird...he has been saying and doing things that hurts me soo much and when i confronted him about it, instead of understanding my point he got defensive and now is mad at me for calling him out of the things he did to me
he abused me, called me dumb and ugly, gave me silent treatment basically humiliated in all possible ways at first i was trying to be an "understanding girlfriend" and saying its fine maybe u had a bad day thats why u crashed out on me but now its been 2 weeks soo i said to him to stop u are hurting me this behaviour of yours is only making me detach from u, if u want me to be nice to you like always then u need to stop taking me for granted like this... thinking he would understand me but instead he got mad at me for calling him out and now its been like 4 days of him being all dry and distant towards me, i tried to initiate conversation and tired to share memes and jokes that may bring down the tention between us but he is still giving me that dry treatment idk what to do
@brightCat8078
do not take the bait...... he disrespected you and you rightfully called him out... you gave grace of being the Supportive girlfriend .... but instead of realizing what he did is wrong he went to phase 2 act mad and maybe the silent treatment.......
decide if you want to do this pattern over and over ..............if not do not try everything to appease and let go ... this is how the pattern starts ... next time they get called out ... silent treatment until you do everything to get past the tension.
but how do i even say anything?? whenever i tried resolving any issue between us all he does is shifting the blame, listening but not understanding, twisting the meaning, or saying stuff like 'okay then i was the bad guy anyway' or 'why are u so hurt when my intentions were never to hurt u? u think i love hurting u?' basically he is this narcissist typa guy who happens to have avoidant personality
pls help me how do i even bring up a conversation and what do i even say in the conversation ive tried everything in the past but nothing has worked till now
@brightCat8078
Use the I FEEL method... if you say "i feel you are being ( insert behavior) " he can not argue back he can not say how you feel is wrong...
it takes a few conversations but my narcissist type realizes he can't start pouting that he is the bad guy and always wrong..... blah blah. he has to think about how to respond and in the process the situation.... This worked wonders in my case.
because you are just telling him.... how you feel.
tysm @toughTiger6481 i will definitely try this
