rant
okay, me and my boyfriend just recently broke up due to my mental health causing me to not be in the right headspace for a relationship at the moment, i have ended up becoming too dependent on him as a person to vent to and it is not healthy to do so after a certain point. i deal with an anxious attachment, where he deals with an avoidant attachment, i was just wondering if anyone else on here has a partner with a contrasting attachment style to them, and how they work their relationship, i know i am not an amazing girlfriend and i want to be healthy for him and be able to treat him right
any suggestions would be greatly appreciated <3
@trulycodie
In a relationship there are always ups and downs and people going thru stuff... being able to vent to your partner is OK. If you bottle up or find someone else to vent to guess what you will find more comfort and enjoyment with that person over your partner.
I honestly do not get the labeling attachment styles..... I read about them but since i never fit in any of there styles and I could not even guess what my partners style is as it has changed over the years. Labels and doing this or that based on some suggestion IMO is as accurate as zodiac signs.
being a good or amazing partner is just being there... regardless. I do not think people had so many issues in relationships until some one thought we should over analyze every move or compare to some one else's definitions. This trying to be what in our head is the "right" person/ partner/ friend is the cause of anxiety, second guessing ourselves and mental health challenges.
thank you for this, it kind of shifted my persepctive abit and made me feel differently about my situation :)
In a relationship like this rn. Have a lot of problems in life living in an abusive household with an alcoholic father and no friends. He got fed up with my emotions, now doesnt let me speak about them. Gets aggressive and fed up when he crosses my boundary and i kindly tell him it hurts… now i have no boundaries. He has no respect for me and tells and does things no partner ever should. I always put in effort and tried and now im physically, emotionally drained. Lost 9 kilograms, constantly vomiting, stomach pains, under stress. Trying to be happy and being forced to be happy whilst ur mood is constantly ruined by mistakes a partner is making which they know hurt you just so they can have power over you is horrible. I am being used for his boredom, and as a punching bag when hes angry. Got myself to deep into the relationship to the point where leaving has a worse outcome than staying. I can tell you you saved yourself. You are not too much you were never too much. Stop it with the “i want to be healthy for him and be able to treat him right”, ive been there girl, you are a good partner, youre not the one at fault. He will in life have moments where its unbearable to live, and when he realises how important it is for someone to listen to him he will only then know how to treat another person right. Dont be the one crossing someones boundaries and teaching thrm how it feels like to be avoided, not cared for, not heard. Youre more mature now and wont make the same mistakes. Dont think of yourself so low. You deserve a boy who will listen and care and help from day 1 because you offer the same back. You met someone who just wasnt hit with the reality of life of a relationship yet