sensitive to criticism
I told my boyfriend the other day that I didn't like it when he corrected me, or if I misunderstood something he'd get really confused about how I could've missed something.
This isn't like his genuine reaction, he's just in the habit of it (he said this himself as well) but he felt really bad and became really anxious and guilty after I told him. I'd do the same if I was given feedback like that, I'd just anxiety spiral. How can I establish a safe space for feedback and communication of that sort with him? Or anyone, really? So that both of us can speak kindly and not scare the other like I did? (I promise I was very civil and gentle about it but someone you care about telling you they've felt frustrated by you is incredibly hard for someone with anxiety, which we both have)
@linvi hi there! first of all, thank you very much for sharing this with the community.
i hear you, struggling with accepting other's criticism, especially your partner's, is not uncommon at all.
here are some things you could possibly try:
Build Trust: Demonstrate transparency and authenticity. Keep promises and maintain confidentiality. Be consistent in your behavior and communication.
Encourage Openness: Emphasize that all opinions are valued. Foster a culture where questions and concerns are welcomed. Avoid judgment and criticism.
Active Listening: Practice active listening by giving full attention to the speaker. Avoid interrupting and ask clarifying questions. Reflect back what you've heard to ensure understanding.
Constructive Feedback: Frame feedback in a positive and constructive manner. Focus on specific behaviors or actions rather than personal characteristics. Offer solutions and suggestions for improvement.
Set Clear Expectations: Define expectations for communication and behavior within the space. Clarify the purpose of the feedback and the desired outcomes.
Diversify Communication Channels: Use a variety of communication tools to accommodate different preferences. Foster both one-on-one and group discussions.
Acknowledge Emotions: Recognize and validate emotions without judgment. Create an environment where expressing emotions is accepted.
Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate achievements and positive contributions. Reinforce the idea that feedback is not only for improvement but also for recognizing strengths.
Continuous Improvement: Regularly assess and seek feedback on the communication process itself. Adapt and make necessary changes based on the feedback received.
Lead by Example: Model the behavior you expect from others. Be open to receiving feedback and demonstrate a willingness to learn and grow.
Address Issues Promptly: If conflicts arise, address them promptly and constructively. Encourage open dialogue to resolve misunderstandings.