8 months in a relationship

I am 8 months in with my partner, and I can’t help but dream and get so excited about the day when he and I will both be ready to get married and have a family. Before him, I was never like this. I hated kids, never wanted any, but he makes me want to be a mother. We live together, we haven’t had one argument yet, we work together. It’s perfect. And, I had a pregnancy scare last week, and I got so sad when I found out it wasn’t a thing. I mean, I was relieved obviously, but I wanted it to happen so badly. Even if it would’ve been an accident, I still would’ve been so happy.

I promised myself I’d wait until he was ready for kids, and I’m doing my best, but I keep dreaming about it & thinking about how our life would look with a little baby. I’m so down bad, and honestly just making this so that I don’t spew it out onto him randomly because it might freak him out.