Am I a fool?
So the situation itself isn't the best. I regret it even happening but a part of me is still longing for more. I work in a small business for a while (5 years) and all who work there we are like family especially me and my boss who I consider my "work husband". At this point we are good friends who happen to be also working together. I support him so much and I know as a boss he can't show favoritism openly but its obvious. Well as of recently things have gotten flirty between us. I've always found him attractive with a crush on jom and him flirting with me has thrown me off and yet felt like a fantasy come true. A couple of nights we spent late at work after hours between us things got a bit more steamy between us. One night got very intimate but we kept being to shy to continue because it was wrong. But things got physical and now he told me that it needed to stop. But now he treats me horrible. I feel used like he just need his ego stroked. He won't even let me talk about what happened and how I feel about him using me for his benefit. I don't know what to do I want to confront him. I'm angry. I hate him yet I still care for him. Why is he like this? Why can he pretend nothing happened and then treat me bad when I've done nothing but give and give to him both work and intimately? A detail I meant to add was he is currently married but he is getting separated so again I feel used like a toy to him. I didn't want to but again him wanting me my feelings of him being my crush took over and now I regret it. At times I still feel like he wants more with me but other times I feel he just got his rocks off and now tossed me aside.
@helpfulLion7513
Your feelings are valid, and I understand how confusing, saddening, and frustrating it can feel to be in such a situation. We cannot decipher his thoughts, but it seems that he may have wanted to make a move, and felt guilty, or simply wanted an ego boost, etc, etc. It could be any number of reasons. What matters right now is how you feel and how you get out of this with your self-respect intact.
If he has dismissed all attempts to communicate about what happened, perhaps it is a dead-end and it is time to focus on yourself, especially if he is married (his separation has not occurred). Focus on your grooming and growth, so you can be a better version of yourself. No man should be able to toss you aside and the first and most important thing you can do is invest in yourself. It is hard, but you can do it!
Goodluck. Feel free to reach out if you like :)
@helpfulLion7513,
as gigantCloud92 said, your feelings are valid. It's always wild guessing what's going on in him as he won't say. It could be that he just feels like he crossed a line, and is ashamed, confused, angry. I don't know, I can't read his mind. You take it personally, doesn't necessarily mean it is personal. Have you tried talking to him, not about how you feel treatened right now but about how you feel? You've got nothing to lose (well, maybe you need to start looking for another job, that's a small price compared to you able to truly be self).
