Ashamed of myself
I am a 23year old guy, My girlfriend who is an year younger than me.. Just got to know i was having an entirely sexual relationship with another girl of her age for around an year.. (we were just frnds and to relieve ourselves from stress we would do that..ngl I was attracted by her face and body, tho she would never try coming in between me and my girlfriend) My girlfriend was not quite ready for the physical relationship yet.. and i completely understood and hence Never forced her into it.. But somehow she got to know abt all this i was doing with the other girl.. she enquired both of us about it.. was quite sure we weren't lying abt relationship being entirely physical.. I said i am really sorry about this too and trust me I only wanted you, if at all i was doing sex i would rather have it with you than anyone else but you weren't ready so... she was alright with it and forgave me and we had sex for around 2mnths regularly but it always felt like i was the one forcing it and she was under pressure that if she didn't do it with me i wud do it with someone else.. so seeing her visible discomfort doing something she feels she ain't quite ready for.. i took a step and stopped it for sometime now...
My opinion about my own self is dropping so low that no one can imagine.. First of all I would go into a physical relationship with some other girl despite having a girlfriend, and later with my actions indirectly forcing my girlfriend to do the same.. I am blessed to have someone as understanding as her who would even forgive me for having a physical relationship with someone else.. but at the same time I wonder After everything i have done do i really deserve a gem of a girl she is?
I am filled with great self doubt. I wish to make everything right but i have no Idea how to. I can't even deny the possibility some day my girlfriend would think that she forgave me for something as serious as that.. eventually got herself into doing whay she wasn't ready for..
I feel so bad and angry on myself. And i try to control my sexual urge as well. but should I move on Coz if i stay with her I will always be full of guilt of what i did to her? and let any other guy more loyal than me find her and take care of her?
I am sorry I was out of my mind to have done all of that but i really wish to make things right for her. Please help anyone.
@lively4285
Only the two of you can work on this together to decide whether you can get past this and build a relationship together. It sounds like maybe being open and honest at all times is the way you now think that you would like to move forward. It is important to know what the other thinks about choices. When you find someone that you can be 100% honest with all the time, and you consider the other person's feelings and consult them before you decide to do things, then that's a great way to build a solid foundation for a long-lasting relationship. My best tip that I ever got about relationships was to always ask myself: If my partner finds out, will that upset them? If the answer is "yes" or "probably" or even "I don't know" then I talk to my partner about it and the decision is made together.
@lively4285
While not exactly a great option but you were taking her feelings and readiness into consideration.... I think it was very good to be honest and she seemed to understand ...... perhaps she moved up her readiness timeline faster then she would have ......
or perhaps she has doubt of her ability in the physical relationship.... Honesty is your greatest strength talk to her.
