Conflict resolution problems in marriage
My husband and I have a pretty good relationship except when it comes to be voicing concerns or things I would like to change then everything escalates very quickly and we end up having arguments about issues that I would deem quite small and easy to fix because he tends to just generalise everything into the negative and it leads to me getting frustrated and angry. I want to get a bit of help or advice on how we could maybe resolve these issues quickly without him feeling like he has to turn it into a much bigger issue.
@roconm712
Hi--from what you've shared, things generally feel good with the relationship except when you have something you'd like him to change, at which point things tend to escalate into heated arguments and it becomes a big problem even if the initial issue felt really small.
I'm not sure if I'm completely understanding what you mean when you say "he tends to just generalise everything into the negative and it leads to me getting frustrated and angry". Could you clarify what you mean by that?
Is it sort of like you'll ask for a change that you feel is small and easy, but he'll interpret it as you asking for too much or being overly critical/controlling, which then gets you angry because you feel like your request is reasonable?
@QuietMagic yeah its like if I asked him to help with cleaning and chores, and it completely blows up and becomes something much bigger and all off a sudden he has all these stresses none of which really have anything to do with doing the dishes and then it turns on me and he'll tell me I've been annoyed for months now. Which really isn't true my family would joke I'm so laid back I'm practically horizontal and I tend to like to help everyone out. So when he throws accusations at me like this it really hurts my feelings and invalidates my request. He'll then tell me he doesn't know what I want, when I then get angry at his reaction and even when I repeat what I assume is a straightforward request like a chore chart he'll continue telling me he doesn't know what I want. Which again leads to me getting frustrated and eventually I just give up and tend to just apologise to get him out of his bad mood.
