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Confused on Behavior. Is this toxic?

User Profile: dogmom2000
dogmom2000 June 29th, 2021

I’ve been having trouble recognizing whether or not behavior from my partner is toxic. I would appreciate any advice. So some backstory: just yesterday I cleaned the entire house and it took a lot out of me. I was tired and exhausted and my partner showed appreciation. Fast forward to earlier today- I wake up, do my routine and then sit my desk to paint. I hear my partner slamming things such as his phone and his drawers to his dresser. I can hear it threw a load of laundry in the washer. He eventually comes in our room and asks if when I do laundry, if I only do my own. I say no as we’ve been living together for 2 years and have always done our clothes together. I can tell he’s frustrated but won’t tell me why. We have no agreement as to me being the one cleaning and doing laundry, he is free to do laundry when he needs. We keep Vaseline on the desk which he uses constantly for his cuticles. I’m sitting at the desk painting and he teaches for the Vaseline but moves something else out of the way aggressively. I moved the thing back to its place and he not only slams it on the desk but he says something along the lines of this in a loud tone, “I moved it so I could use it” as he motions towards the vaseline. I tell him to just leave and he mumbles “fucking stupid” as he walks out. Do your partners react this way? Is this toxic or him being upset?

2
User Profile: dukeofdearham
dukeofdearham June 30th, 2021

@dogmom2000,

the just seems to be upset. Wouldn't do any harm to sit down and them him how you felt, and vice versa. It happens all too often that, before you know, you're stuck in a nasty pattern will ill communication, doing damage.

User Profile: FoxPrince
FoxPrince June 30th, 2021

@dogmom2000 I agree, it sounds like something else could be bothering him and it's coming out in these smaller interactions. It's not "nice" behaviour but idk if I'd call it toxic unless it was all the time over every little thing. But maybe it's just the way I read it, sounded like it was just something recently. Probably worth it to talk about