Does anyone feel like this?

I really need to know if anyone else has been through something like this because I feel like I'm drowning.

I'm getting married in a few months, and I want this relationship. I love my fiancé, I want to marry him, and neither of us wants to postpone or cancel the wedding. That's never been what either of us wants. That's part of what makes all of this so confusing.

My fiancé is in dental school, and it's already been an incredibly stressful journey. He had to take a medical leave because of health issues, so we've dealt with the uncertainty of whether he'd graduate on time, finances, and trying to plan a wedding while he's still in school. It feels like we've been in survival mode for a long time.

On top of that, there was a huge conflict between him and my family, especially my dad. The best way I can explain it is that they both seem to compete to be the "top dog." They're both stubborn, opinionated, and neither likes feeling challenged. They can both be wonderful people, but together it's like they're gasoline and a match. Ever since everything happened, I feel like I'm constantly caught in the middle. I love my family, and I love my fiancé. I don't want to lose either, but it feels like I'm always disappointing someone.

What scares me the most is that I don't know how to handle this level of stress anymore. I wake up anxious, I spend the day anxious, and I go to bed anxious. It feels like my body has forgotten how to relax. I'm constantly waiting for the next thing to go wrong.

I've been in therapy, and I feel like I keep hitting a wall. I can sit there and explain everything logically. I know I can't control everyone. I know I can't fix my family's relationship with my fiancé. I know anxiety twists things and makes me doubt things that matter most to me. I understand all of that. But understanding it hasn't changed how I feel. The panic is still there every single day, and I don't know how to make it stop.

I'm just so tired. I want to enjoy being engaged. I want to look forward to getting married instead of feeling like my own brain is trying to convince me that every decision is a disaster waiting to happen.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? Did your anxiety ever convince you that the relationship you genuinely wanted was somehow wrong? Did things get better? Right now I just feel really alone, and I don't know how much longer I can keep living in this constant state of fear.