Feeling alone in my marriage
I've been with my husband 5 years. I love him and believe he loves me. Both of us work long hours outside of the home. We have been struggling back and forth with each other over basic things we don't agree on. When I ask him to help around the house, he thinks I am riding him. I feel like I am doing everything at home on my own yet I'm expected to contribute financially too. For me the situation is not balanced.
When we first started living together he was more helpful than he is now. After we got married he gives all his energy to his job and there is nothing left for the kids and me. He feels like we don't have sex enough. I admit that I don't enjoy him the way I used to because I am tired from having to work 50 hours/week and take on the majority of the housework. He has never been very romantic and it would be nice to have that. When I tell him how I feel or how to get me in a better mood, he is not receptive. I want to be more connected but he doesn't like talking about hard things or hearing the truth when its bad
I'm at the point where I feel like I may need to get my emotional needs met elsewhere. It is hard but I have to accept he is 40 and not going to change.
Just needed to let things out and I figured this was better than involving family or friends
@IcecreamAndBrownies relationships need to be all about balance and respect. Unfortunately, it does not sound like you have either in your marriage.
Glad you recognize he is not going to change, given his lackluster response after you have expressed your feelings about the current situation.
Best to address your marriage now, after 5 years, rather than after further erosion by 10, 15, or 20 years.
I wish you all the best in dealing with the difficult decisions ahead.
I was at a breaking point for the same reasons at 7 years but stayed. It’s been 15 1/2 years total now but I’m still here. But now I’m about to decide if I want a divorce. My hubby’s personality just does not include the need or ability to feel a deep emotional connection other than sex. But I never lived him as much as he loves me so that’s a little different than with you. Figure it out now and not 10 years from now. BUt also know that many u happy couples are happy 5 years later. Growth does happen. There have been many improvements, but not enough and not enough love in my heart to want to stay. Good luck!
I know what it feels like. My situation is somewhat similar. Married for 9 years and no kids. He is addicted to games and plays all day all night. I go to bed alone and I feel so alone. We work long hours just like you and we barely have time. I try to initiate a conversation during the 10 minutes that we sit together to eat but it just doesn't blossom. It just ends with a "ok". We had very little sex drive since we met, hence no kids, but not having a husband and wife connection in daily conversation and life is what makes me wonder if this is what I deserve. Game addiction been pretty bad but I fought his again last night when I woke up to go to the bathroom at 5:30am he wasn't in bed but instead playing his games. He hears the toilet flush so he came in saying that he also went to the bathroom right before I woke up. Yet another covering lie. I spoke to him about getting the sleep for his health so it doesn't affect his work performance, but I guess it is just so hard to resist! It's been a pattern..not going to bed until 5am. 5am is the golden time because I am in deep sleep that I dont wake up. And when I ask what time he came in, he can conveniently lie and say 1am or something. When I ask him to come in bed with me at 12am which is when I usually go to bed around, sometimes he reluctantly lay down and waits for me to fall asleep and goes on to his game. It is irritating because when I confront him, the lying kicks in. We both are aware that his is not healthy and considering separating. I am trying to book an appointment with a marriage counselor to see what I should do.