Fiance shuts down when i bring up my needs
My fiance shuts down when i try to bring up some needs i need from him. I need him to open up to me or at least let me know he needs me... He recently is having a hard time showing affection towards me, if i ask for it he will give it but sometimes it seems it bothers him. We both lost our jobs and have had alot of hurdles so i know he is stressed and has alot on his mind, but he refuses to express even that to me until i get to the point of complete frustration. But that all he will say and he doesnt change his actions or even try. I want him to see us as one and know that whatever he is going through affects me too and being in the dark is hard. Am i demanding to much? am i being selfish in this situation? I really am starting to feel disrespected that he doesnt even have the want to have a conversation with me about... other than to tell me im being dramatic and everything is always about me. I ask him what he needs from me and he says he doesnt need anything... im frustrated, confused and hurt.
@resourcefulAcai3457 Frustration, wanting deeper connection, wanting to grow together... Your feelings are valid. There's a lot to unravel here in this relationship.
@resourcefulAcai3457
I am sorry to hear you're going through this, losing your job is stressful enough but to have this as well must really just feel overwhelming.
I don't think you're asking for too much, or being selfish. However people do react to stress in different ways and it sounds like he's shut down. Could it be that he is so overwhelmed with not having a job, and maybe worried about providing for you and him that he just can't handle something else?
I also know you didn't ask for advice but some people also communicate it different ways. I know sometimes I prefer to have problems relayed to me in a letter/email so I can take time to really think about it and time to figure out how I feel and to craft a response that is calm and not just a reaction. I don't know if that may help you guys.
Again, I am sorry you're dealing with so much stress right now, but again your feelings are valid.