Friendship to Relationship Transition
I first met my partner through a mutual friend at the beginning of the year. At the time, he was in a toxic 3 year relationship. I had no initial attraction. We developed a close friendship in the subsequent months, battling probably the biggest life obstacles I've ever had to face. So naturally, we have a very strong foundation of trust and respect.
We were purely platonic throughout our friendship, even after his relationship did inevitably crash and burn. I was there for him through all of that. Months after his relationship ended, that's when we began to view each other in a more romantic light. We would innocently sleep in the bed next to each other, then we started cuddling, then we started kissing. Sure enough, then we started having sex. After a couple months of being on-and-off, we decided to become a couple. It's still fairly new, like a few months.
Our problem now is that we seemed to have skipped the fun, flirty honeymoon phase and we've moved straight into old married couple territory. Sometimes, we don't even feel like we're in a relationship. We complement each other well and definitely, I can't face the world without him and vice versa.
But what if we were just destined to be friends? What if he's not the person I'm meant to be with? Or do we just need time to develop a romantic relationship, the same way we did the friendship?
@dolanite you present a very interesting question, for which there is probably no easy answer, except for time and mindfulness to be certain as to where your feelings are headed.
I suppose most relationships eventually progress out of the honeymoon phase and into that of the mature couple, which is not a bad thing, just not as hot and passionate as before. It could be a lot worse.
Have you discussed this with your partner, and if so, is he concerned?
@dolanite
I read what you write, is boring the proper translation of what you are telling ?
@dolanite It sounds like you two moved pretty fast. Nothing wrong with this! You were his friend, and before you knew it, you two were being romantic and then in an official relationship. Now you feel like you two skipped to a very serious relationship, which definitely has its good parts, but so is the flirty stage.
I think you two can have both -- a serious relationship that is also fun and flirty. You two can do the things a new couple would do while still having that deep foundation. What things are you hoping you two can do together?
@luminousBraid91 And to answer your questions about whether or not you two are compatible in this way, it is impossible to know right now. I know that is the last thing you want to hear. However, the way you two skipped to such a serious relationship says to me that you two are very compatible.
@dolanite
Hey there. hopefully you are doing well.
I'm concerned about a couple of things which are; 1) Is he fully emotionally available to be in a relationship?, 2) Has he faced, dealt and healed from what happened in his last relationship?, 3) How did he dealt with the end of his previous relationship?.
A three year toxic relationship is something that can impact a person, and it usually takes a long time for the other person to feel ready to enter another one. The way things started on and off is also something that can't be ignored either because there's a good chance the same might happen in the relationship.