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Guilt over ending a relationship?

User Profile: philosophicalBanana6205
philosophicalBanana6205 March 19th, 2021

Hello. I am 100% aware that I know that I am the only one who can truly make this decision. I just would like some others to weigh in or just to let this off my chest. I have been dating my boyfriend for close to 2 years. I am recently thinking of breaking things off before we graduate from university. I feel really guilty about it however. I can’t get past this feeling of guilt, especially since we are in a good patch right now. However, we have been fighting a lot, and there are several issues that keep coming up. I am struggling because i have tried to communicate my feelings to him on multiple occasions, but he is always distracted and doesn’t listen to me. I know that I am not perfect but I have had the same issues with him the entire time of our relationship. I feel like he doesn’t respect my feelings or my values and constantly wants to joke around. Theres a lot of topics we can’t talk about because we just have two very different views and won’t agree. I really don’t mind hanging out with his friends but he always makes plans with them and then invites me afterwards like as an afterthought. He recently took one of our breaks that we planned to spend together and invited all of his friends. I tried expressing to him how I felt but he called me irrational and inflexible. He says that he thinks I’m a diva and high maintenance because i wanted flowers for Valentine’s Day and I was upset that he didn’t get them. my communication doesn’t seem to get through to him, and I don’t think I’m being treated well. I feel like it’s been one sided and I’ve done all I can. I just don’t really know where to go from here besides breaking up

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User Profile: sally2345986
sally2345986 March 19th, 2021

@philosophicalBanana6205 You Deserve better honestly

User Profile: Adarlya
Adarlya March 19th, 2021

If he really never responds to your feelings and invalidates them you're going to keep having the same issues (as has been the case already). If hes not going to change what else can you really do? You need (and deserve) someone that cares about your feelings.

User Profile: lifeisbeautiful37
lifeisbeautiful37 March 20th, 2021

Get out now while you still can, not after 10+ years of a lousy marriage. My two cents. And sorry :/

User Profile: thjakie
thjakie March 22nd, 2021

You don't have to feel guilty if it's not working out. The better thing to do is be clear and give him closure, that things are not working for you right now and you can't take it anymore. A forced toxic relationship and a lot of wasted time would be a lot worse than breaking up now if you're sure about it.

User Profile: philosophicalBanana6205
philosophicalBanana6205 OP March 28th, 2021

Hello all! Thank you for the advice! I ended things with him and it’s been hard but i made the right decision for myself