How to trust someone when u have ptsd

It’s hard trusting my boyfriend because he does sneaky things that triggers my past feelings and traumas and also makes me anxious. I don’t like him being on social media especially giving other people the time of day because I don’t do that to him. I only see him. I eventually “asked” to see his phone after months of watching him keeping it glued to his side no matter where he walked to in the house, because he was previously used to me “snooping”. Whenever I did snoop in the past I found flirtatious things and also an onlyfans account that he said it was only to make people pay him extra to use his account (😒).. I forgave him twice, now me actually asking to see his phone caused a whole situation- I initially told him that I didn’t like how he was moving when I asked to go on tic tok on his phone, seeing only his Instagram notifications “hidden” compared to the others.. him removing me from his Home Screen photo.. following and liking girls pics again on social media.. I told him that it made me feel insecure and I actually wanted permission to look at his phone, it shouldn’t be an issue if there isn’t anything in it. I can willingly give him my phone because I’m not hiding anything. It should be like that in return. Long story short he kept denying me therefore I tried to grab the phone myself and we started playing fuccin tug o war over a phone. Which proceeded to me screaming , crying hysterically, hitting and swinging on him, and having a COMPLETE break down and a nasty fight causing him to kick me out his house.. Especially for the fact I was already going through personal stuff with my career that made me depressed this just set me over my limit with all of my emotions and rage coming out. U would think for a second that if I’m in a state of so much shock anxiety and sadness and also betrayal that he would’ve at least eased my mind by eventually giving me his phone. He still chose to put me through that pain. I even texted him on my way home with multiple messages explaining how I felt, and most importantly APOLOGIZING to him about hitting him and blacking out. He ignored me all day. Until I eventually popped up to his house and waiting for him to come from work. He came home, and only said to me “ why are u here?” I felt like I didn’t belong at all, as he slept after work, next to me… sobbing in tears in the same bed as him.. I understand he has every right to be mad at me hitting him but I initially came off respectfully— didn’t even want to ask him but he forced me to speak my mind, him being so over protective of his phone broke my trust in him completely… I even gave him head and everything just because I felt bad, putting my feelings ASIDE. Today he didn’t text me Goodmorning, or to have a safe flight nothing. It’s hard to get him off my mind no matter how hurt I should be. I’m hurting over the fact he lied to me as well and I seen his Only fans account AGAIN— ( he’s going to deny it’s his) , this time asking his supposedly close female friend (she doesn’t even know it’s his account since it’s a random name)) for “longer videos of her wet p*****… and to another girl “to come let him fu** her wet pu****.. it makes me feel so terrible inside knowing that he secretly wants to deal with her, of course he will deny it’s his because there isn’t anything tracing it back to his name except that it was on his old phone… under a random gmail account which a random girl also sent a video of her giving head to.., it’s so much emotions to explain, I just want to know if I’m wrong. He literally didn’t care to text me or anything. Plus I’m away out of town for a whole week..