I had a problem changing myself, and it's drowning our relationship.

Hi, this is my first post. I really can't tell myself at the moment. Currently really down as I write this. I refuse to change or atleast learn on something and that is my problem. I know counseling is something else from this place. Yesterday, I had a fight with my girlfriend (This is a long distance relationship and we're turning 7 months tomorrow.) and it involves to the fact that despite the fact I mentioned I am going to change, it just didn't work out. The feel for change is necessary, but I do not know how to start. My girlfriend has said almost anything that needs to be said but I ended up pushing it away for some reason. Right now, she's really frustrated. I really need to make a change, something she could really see and could actually benefit BOTH of us. I am a really hard person to deal with and that's a fact I found out a few months before. I desired for that change, for the sake of our drowning relationship, but I felt like this is going nowhere because I myself couldn't act on it properly. I am in fear. I know it is too vague, but you guys can ask questions, something I can comprehend to answer, in order to know me and myself better. Life's hard as we know it, and this is something I find it hard to accept. If you read up to the end of this, thank you for reading. I highly appreciate it.