I miss feeling jealous/passion?
I’m really trying to work through my traumas and woes to achieve more growth personally and so I thank you all on here so much for your insights.
i love my partner. When we met it may not have been the best circumstances as I was still going through a lot. but he really is a good guy; most people would not ask for more. The sad part is without the passion and heat it just makes it feel a bit empty. He’s changed and grown since I met him. A lot. Gotten more mature. Just became a better version. That’s no small feat. But not having the passion is making me drawn toward lust and fantasizing of others. I haven’t felt turned on to him in so long and i don’t know how to get that back. If we had that it would help the relationship a lot.
i used to be glad I am no longer jealous and stuff. Like for example he mentioned he went out with his friends after a baseball game to a bar and that they had these lap dances they would give at the bar if you bought a shot. I didn’t even care and asked if he got one and said it sounds like it would’ve been fun. The me from years ago with a previous partner would’ve been raging if I imagined him being physical with another girl. I miss the passion and motivation it gave feeling that. Has anyone ever lost it and got it back? Sigh I just feel like we’re so good except no passion is like working its way into every part of the relationship. That’s what’s making me wonder if I can keep it going during my journey as I try to heal
@heatlightning Did you two used to tickle or tease in playful ways? Think back to the most early days of your relationship, because this can form a basis of how men expect someone to be at their foundation. That doesn't mean they will provide it, but does show how they expect that such a think will be the dynamic even if no effort is made.
I suspect they are silently hoping you will do something for them, but they are too proud/scared to ask for anything specific. After time an expectation comes that one's partner will know through conversation what the other wants, so whether it's biting or licking you will likely have to submit to some referenced method. If you refuse to do this you may actually lose them on a psychological level; take it from someone who knows.