I need advice.
so me (any pronouns 20)and my boyfriend
(m22)have been dating since March 2020! We
met online during quarantine! We were first
friends with a group of people we met online.
The online group of friends met in September
2019, sometime around there. We were all
friends until I started noticing I was slowly
enjoying his company more and more and we
both ended up feeling the same way and
made it official in March :) as time moved on
our feelings grew stronger and stronger. Fast
forward now it's 2022. We met irl in may and
he came over here where I am to see me. It
was rough Cause my sister was there also and
was very unsupportive and had her worries
which I do not blame her for having. Anyways
my boyfriend and I were planning about
moving in together but I'm not sure if I'm going
too fast? I haven't told my parents about him
this whole time. Well not my dad. I live in a
very hostile Mexican household where mostly
my dad makes the rules unfortunately. Iv also
seen how my parents handled my sisters last
relationships. My dad gets extremely angry
and lashes out which makes the whole house change its mood. I think it's 100% the fear of
telling my dad that's holding me back and has
been triggering my anxiety. Im afraid if I go, or
even mention my boyfriend to them they'll cut
me out of their lives. I told my mom about my
boyfriend not too long ago when I finally had
the courage to mention it too her. She was
also like my sister very on edge about the idea
of me doing long distance. Saying it wasn't a
real relationship and that I should wait. Not
only that I told her I wanted them (my mom
and dad)to meet him but she told me she
wanted nothing to do with him. And that I
should really introduce someone if I'm
"serious" about them. Meanwhile my
boyfriends parents talked to my boyfriend
about the situation and told him they would
support us as much as they can.l understand
my parents fears when I do tell them. I get it.
They aren't bad parents and I know they're
just trying to protect me. But this person
makes me happy and for once I feel
understood. also have school potential over in
the state he lives in then the state I live in. It's
also cheaper tuition. My boyfriends mom and dad agreed that I could go and live with them
as long as We want till we can be on our feet
alone. A little background ABOHT my
boyfriend is that he has a job and is slowly
going back to school. He's had a injury so he's
been recovering from that which is why he
wasn't in school sooner. But now he's ready
and getting back on his feet. Anyways im
sorry for making this paragraph so long but all
I really mean to ask is
Am I moving too fast? What should I do?
also thank you to anyone who really read through everything. I do appreciate it<3
A little update. Iv been talking to my sister and she’s supportive as long as I plan to go to school down where he lives. <3
No one can tell you if it's too early to take such a step, it entirely depends on how you and your boyfriend feel about the relationship. If you feel you are ready, that's enough to decide to go. If you feel like you need more time to reflect, that's okay anyway. I think the best thing is to talk to him about your fears about this, it is completely normal to carefully evaluate the situation when it comes to such an important change. And I am sorry that your parents do not support you in this, unfortunately we cannot expect others to always agree with our decisions, I hope that over time things will change. Good luck and do what makes you happy💜
Thank you so much for your message I really do appreciate it a lot <3 it’s just been a rough couple of months for me and my partner when it came to telling my parents and actually taking the first step into moving in. It’s kind of scary. But you’re 100% right. I am ready but also scared to confront my parents about it…I don’t know It’s such a weird feeling. But anyways thank you again for your time!
In my opinion,
You need to figure out what you want in your life partner. Dating a person when you feel bored/ lonely doesn't give you the right person.
When both of you are happy with yourselves you can love each other. Only you and your lover know what you are looking for in relationships.
You can't just figure out a whole person in 1or 2 years.
But you still can make the right choice if you know him well.
All the best 🙌
Yes! I 100% agree that you really don’t know anyone even if it’s been 2 years. But I would never consider using my partner out of boredom cause I really do love him a lot and want to try at least to be with him physically. That’s why we are planning to close the gap so we can actually really get to know each other :D I plan to visit him and his family in the upcoming months before I move down there. Since we’ve been doing LDR we are as open as we can to keep our bond as honest as we can<3
also thank you so much for reading my paragraph and giving me your advice! Means the world ❤️
I wouldn't say it's too quick. But why don't u wait? Just cos u like his presence u can't stay with him the next moment. U guys know each other via internet. Slowly get to know in person. As u grow older things change. There will be disagreement, arguments,likes and dislikes and what not? Try getting clarity about each other. Now if u hop in and start living with together it kinda feels good intially,goin forward thing that used to like might turn into something u dislike. U don't wanna regret in the future isnt it,i mean both of u! Patience is what you attain now. If it's yours it's definitely gonna be yours one day,if it's wasn't it will never be. Think wisely before u do something out of excitement u got in you.
Cheers!!!
First of all thank you so much for talking the time and reading this. It’s very much appreciated<3 I agree! Meeting a few times in person is so important! That’s why we are meeting in a month so we can get used to seeing each other and just overall be around each other.huge difference being connected on a screen and being connected in person. It’s a huge step when we do move in with each other. Having patience I think is the hardest part about this. Again thank you so much it really appreciated. I’ll take your advice with me for the future <3
hello uodate! I’m really grateful for everyone who took the time to actually read my paragraph of me rambling it means a lot. I plan to tell my parents soon about everything but I am for sure moving in with my partner in the spring/summer time. I’m so excited for this chapter. Wish me luck with everything.
