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fmgarden
1 198 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes15 Current upvotes15 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 26, 2022
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Confused and need advice.
Relationship Stress / by fmgarden
Last post
 May 24th, 2022
...See more So my partner and I (me:21) my partner 22. We met online almost 2 years ago. We have been doing long distance for a while. We care for each other so much and love every second we have to text or call each other. But as we are turning into adults, staying in contact has been getting harder and harder. He has his family and I have mine. The both of us don’t want to move away from our families and are extremely family oriented. But that leaves us to the point on who’s going to move with who. I want to go back to school and there’s a program in his state that will give me that opportunity. If I do move to his state I would not want to move in with him. I want to be my own person. I really really care, admire and respect my partner. It’s really hard cause if we split I feel like I’m missing the opportunity for something great. Something and someone who can grow with me. I’m so confused. Stay in my state and go to school. Or take a risk and move down there. I would have to find roommates and live all by myself which is honestly kinda sad for me. I don’t know what to do I’m so lost. I want this person in my life so bad.
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Anxiety is controlling my life
Anxiety Support / by fmgarden
Last post
 March 23rd, 2022
...See more So Iv always had very high anxiety..especially as of recently it’s been social. So for a long time Iv been willing to cope. But right now since I’m not in school and just working it’s gotten to the point where I cannot hold a basic conversation. When they ask about my personal life I get afraid of being open about myself and I lie. I hate lying but in the moment I just don’t want them to know about my personal life considering it’s a mess right now. I have no friends and not in school and I just feel like a loser you know? It’s kind of like I’m Ashamed of where I’m at even though Its been a rough couple of years. Most of my coworkers are my age 20ish and I’m just…really sad and angry that I cant talk normally. Like every time I talk I assume that Everyone doesn’t want time there but like..why do I care so much??? They’re coworkers i don’t know it’s so frustrating that I actually care what people think and filter myself to fit in. I hate that I’m so awkward and make people uncomfortable. I can tel I just make people extremely uncomfortable cause of how awkward I am. Please if anyone relates let me know I’m not the only one. It’s so frustrating
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Old friend I cant get out of my head.
Relationship Stress / by fmgarden
Last post
 July 28th, 2022
...See more Hello! Thank you for taking the time to read this. I just need a place to vent<3 so I had this childhood best friend. As we got older I started noticing the red flags about her. She would make fun of my hobbies or mock them. Like I’m really into drawing when I was younger and she grabbed my drawing pad out of my hand and showed a group of guys she was trying to impress. Anyways as time goes on we got older and she met this guy from church. She would cry about him to me constantly. I would give her advice. She would feel better and not talk to me again until the next time they fought. Once she even lied and saying a group of our church friends were going to hang out and it turned out to be a date for her and the boy she was talking too. When I asked her about it she said “oh the others cancelled last minute” which I knew was a lie. Or once I had a birthday gathering and all of the church friend came. Months later the party came into conversation and she said “well you know no one really went for you right?” I swear I wanted to cry right then and there. Okay now that I’m finally typing my thoughts…I thought I missed her but I was glamorizing her in my head 💀 but the list goes on! She was going through a rough patch with the boy she was talking too…and she started taking to someone else who was a girl. I was happy for her cause I’m actually bisexual so I was happy that my friend maybe was too. But the way she talked about the girl she was talking too made it sound like she was using her. She would call me and say that she likes her and she wanted her and I to meet. So we met and the girl she was talking too was the sweetest. My friend wanted me to talk to her about dating. And I did. As someone who’s in the LGBT I told her to not date my friend. It would feel so wrong of me to actually let her date my friend when I know damn well my friend is just using her. I couldn’t lie. So let’s just say the car ride back was very very awkward. Anyways we drop the girl off and my friend goes “so what do you think?” I told her what I said to her and my friend laughed. “You TOMD her that??” And I said yes. She said “well you’re not going to see her again so who cares” which shocked me. Anyways I continued saying that the girl was very pretty and sweet. My friend then said “really?? I don’t think she’s that cute she’s okay” which honestly was my breaking point I was so done. One thing I cannot stand is people using others. Especially for either own benefits. BUT THE LIST GOES ON…you remember that guy she was talking too? Yeah they’re still together. And when I gave my friend advice saying he was a bad guy she told him and now he hates my guts (i used to be friends with her boyfriend until I found out he was homophobic) I’m not that religious I just went to the church thing cause I met a lot of people that were cool besides her. I hate it there it’s extremely homophobic and cultish. anyways I’m just ranting LOL. So much religious trauma has happened in my youth years and this friend did not make it any better . If you actually read this I really appreciate it. Hopefully you can be as disgusted as me. Also I’m not saying I’m a perfect person. I was depressed and ghosted her sometimes cause I was so drained. There’s not point to this paragraph again I’m sorry. I just hope someone else can be as disgusted as I am
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Being comfortable in being alone
Depression Support / by fmgarden
Last post
 February 27th, 2022
...See more hi everyone thank you for reading I appreciate it I haven’t had a solid good friend group since I was 17…and I’m now 20. I always now feel so out of place in any outside setting. Especially at work. My social skills are horrible and make people feel uncomfortable which is honestly the worst part! I don’t know how to socialize so get so silent. I felt so lost and fell in a super depressive episode cause of it. As of 2 years ago I got really lucky and met my partner. He’s amazing! I also have a family who are with me so I don’t want to say I’m completely alone. I just wish I had some friends you know? Being so socially awkward and not in a quirky way is so horrible. It’s like I’m unable to actually be my self around others
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I need advice.
Relationship Stress / by fmgarden
Last post
 February 22nd, 2022
...See more so me (any pronouns 20)and my boyfriend (m22)have been dating since March 2020! We met online during quarantine! We were first friends with a group of people we met online. The online group of friends met in September 2019, sometime around there. We were all friends until I started noticing I was slowly enjoying his company more and more and we both ended up feeling the same way and made it official in March :) as time moved on our feelings grew stronger and stronger. Fast forward now it's 2022. We met irl in may and he came over here where I am to see me. It was rough Cause my sister was there also and was very unsupportive and had her worries which I do not blame her for having. Anyways my boyfriend and I were planning about moving in together but I'm not sure if I'm going too fast? I haven't told my parents about him this whole time. Well not my dad. I live in a very hostile Mexican household where mostly my dad makes the rules unfortunately. Iv also seen how my parents handled my sisters last relationships. My dad gets extremely angry and lashes out which makes the whole house change its mood. I think it's 100% the fear of telling my dad that's holding me back and has been triggering my anxiety. Im afraid if I go, or even mention my boyfriend to them they'll cut me out of their lives. I told my mom about my boyfriend not too long ago when I finally had the courage to mention it too her. She was also like my sister very on edge about the idea of me doing long distance. Saying it wasn't a real relationship and that I should wait. Not only that I told her I wanted them (my mom and dad)to meet him but she told me she wanted nothing to do with him. And that I should really introduce someone if I'm "serious" about them. Meanwhile my boyfriends parents talked to my boyfriend about the situation and told him they would support us as much as they can.l understand my parents fears when I do tell them. I get it. They aren't bad parents and I know they're just trying to protect me. But this person makes me happy and for once I feel understood. also have school potential over in the state he lives in then the state I live in. It's also cheaper tuition. My boyfriends mom and dad agreed that I could go and live with them as long as We want till we can be on our feet alone. A little background ABOHT my boyfriend is that he has a job and is slowly going back to school. He's had a injury so he's been recovering from that which is why he wasn't in school sooner. But now he's ready and getting back on his feet. Anyways im sorry for making this paragraph so long but all I really mean to ask is Am I moving too fast? What should I do? also thank you to anyone who really read through everything. I do appreciate it<3
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long distance struggle
Relationship Stress / by fmgarden
Last post
 March 11th, 2022
...See more I just really really am need for some good solid advice. so me (any pronouns 20)and my boyfriend (m22)have been dating since March 2020! We met online during quarantine! We were first friends with a group of opeople we met online. The online group of friends met in September 2019, sometime around there. We were all friends until I started noticing I was slowly enjoying his company more and more and we both ended up feeling the same way and made it official in March :) as time moved on our feelings grew stronger and stronger. Fast forward now it’s 2022. We met irl in may and he came over here where I am to see me. It was rough Cause my sister was there also and was very unsupportive and had her worries which I do not blame her for having. Anyways my boyfriend and I were planning about moving in together but I’m not sure if I’m going too fast? I haven’t told my parents about him this whole time. Well not my dad. I live in a very hostile Mexican household where mostly my dad makes the rules unfortunately. Iv also seen how my parents handled my sisters last relationships. My dad gets extremely angry and lashes out which makes the whole house change its mood. I think it’s 100% the fear of telling my dad that’s holding me back and has been triggering my anxiety. Im afraid if I go, or even mention my boyfriend to them they’ll cut me out of their lives. Which makes me cry every now and then. I told my mom about my boyfriend not too long ago when I finally had the courage to mention it too her. She was also like my sister very on edge about the idea of me doing long distance. Saying it wasn’t a real relationship and that I should wait. Not only that I told her I wanted them (my mom and dad)to meet him but she told me she wanted nothing to do with him. And that I should really introduce someone if I’m “serious” about them. Meanwhile my boyfriends parents talked to my boyfriend about the situation and told him they would support us as much as they can.I understand my parents fears when I do tell them. I get it. They aren’t bad parents and I know they’re just trying to protect me. But this person makes me happy and for once I feel understood. also have school potential over in the state he lives in then the state I live in. It’s also cheaper tuition. My boyfriends mom and dad agreed that I could go and live with them as long as We want till we can be on our feet alone. A little background ABOHT my boyfriend is that he has a job and is slowly going back to school. He’s had a injury so he’s been recovering from that which is why he wasn’t in school sooner. But now he’s ready and gettting back on his feet. Anyways im sorry for making this paragraph so long but all I really mean to ask is Am I moving too fast? What should I do? should I wait? this is so confusing.
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