I need help with my issues which have been affecting my relationship
So I need some advice. I recently got married but keep in mind I’m in my early 20s still. I feel sick of conforming to a role not that I hate my husband. However being newly wed but living with his parents has been a blessing and a curse. There’s no alone time like ever and I’ve been working most of the time with him as well. My family stopped talking to me completely. I just wish I could be happy but like I feel like I can’t do anything without consulting. I feel like I mess up and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Gosh I just feel so stuck. And my eating disorder has been coming back with pangs of anxiety getting to me causing me heart palpitations. I cry whenever I think about my family and today I made a terrible mistake. I embarrassed my husband at a public restaurant saying don’t touch me please because the night before he completely ignored me. His family is now mad at me because I did that but tbh I just didn’t want him to touch my side belly area in public bc I have an eating disorder.
@tealMelon1154
I hear how deeply exhausting and overwhelming everything feels for you right now. Carrying the weight of a new marriage, living with in-laws with no personal space, facing isolation from your family, and dealing with an eating disorder is a huge burden to carry all at once.
Please be gentle with yourself. Wanting physical boundaries when you are struggling with body anxiety is completely valid, and it doesn't mean you are broken or a bad wife. You are dealing with an immense amount of pressure and stress.
When everything feels so stuck and noisy around you, is there any small space or moment during the day where you can take a breather just for yourself?
@Justagoodguy1 To be honest, my work is my only solace where I can have some time to quiet my mind. I usually work with my husband but sometimes I get a shift all by myself. My family is often what I think about they were always aloof about me but I still have abandonment issues. They abandoned me while I was at college, my mom and stepdad were angry at me for dating. They gave me an ultimatum in which I chose myself and my own decisions. It was hard for me seeing everyone leave for holiday vacations while I struggled. My husband well married me because his family is very religious. They said we should if we are dating that’s the end goal.