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Is a FWB-turned-cuddle buddy something I need to disclose to a hookup?

User Profile: orangeWater6338
orangeWater6338 February 15th, 2022

I met a guy (Chris) about four months ago who I hooked up with twice. The second time, Chris did something to really break my trust. I decided to forgive him, but I didn’t want to have sex with him for a while, and just be friends. Sometimes he’d put his arm around me if we were sitting next to each other or something (cuddling, but not the sexual kind), and correct me if I’m wrong but that doesn’t constitute a romantic or sexual relationship.


It took me about two months to recover mentally enough from the incident to want to have sex again, and I still wasn’t interested in having sex with Chris. I met a guy on an app (Will) who said “if you’re not single, move on”. In my mind I was single, because I’d never dated anyone and hadn’t had sex for two months. I reached out to Will and asked if he wanted to hook up. He said sure. I was only planning on seeing him once, but I ended up seeing him three times because he wanted to see me again. We had sex one time (the second time) and afterwards, in an attempt to get him to not want to see me anymore, I brought up Chris as a “FWB”. I told Will that Chris and I hadn’t slept together for two months (true) and that we cuddled while naked and made out frequently (untrue, I was trying to make it sound like Chris and I were doing more than we actually were). However, when I asked Will if he felt lied to, he said “no, it sounds like you’re single to me”.


The third time I saw Will he said “I wouldn’t mind having you all to myself”, and I realized that he wanted more than FWB. Two weeks later, I told Will over text that I didn’t want to see him anymore. A few days after that, I saw Chris for the first time since meeting Will, and basically dropped all my boundaries I’d put up and told Chris he could do whatever he wanted with me. I wanted it to be true that I had lied to Will about being single so I wouldn’t have to feel bad about lying to him about the extent of my relationship with Chris. I don’t like having sex with Chris but I feel like I have to.


But now I’m worried… was I single when I told Will that I was? I realize that if Will does truly think I was lying about that, then I had sex with him under false pretenses. Did I lie initially when I said I was single?

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User Profile: Cain96
Cain96 February 15th, 2022

If Chris is not your boyfriend, then you are single. Most people don't consider a "FWB" a serious relationship.