Is it me?

I’ve a huge doubt. I don’t know if it’s me, because I feel this is me in life in general, but I’ve been doubting about my relationship since I remember. The problem is that I’m not sure if this is because of the relationship or if I self sabotage or doubt what I have since I have low self esteem and it’s hard for me to be grateful for some stuff, I feel like I’m always wanting more and expecting the best version from everyone. So, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, and he has a peculiar personality, he is very distant, cold, and inconvenient some times, when we are alone I feel like he likes me because he shows it more, but when we are with other people or couples I can see we are not a normal couple. It seems like we are just friends. At home I can tell he likes me just because of the different love languages, mainly acts of service because he is not about showing affect on physical touch or words, but I need that. Not while we are with others but when we are just the 2. There are some attitudes he has that sometimes make me really feel like I deserve better, but I’m not sure if it’s me asking for too much and for a perfect person or if indeed this should not be like that. I’m sad that he never make an effort on what I say is important for me, like words of caring or cuddles or so. And this week we went on holidays with some friends to the snow, and he knows I was afraid of it as it was my first time, and in the cable car to take us there he was trying to enter in one so bad that he didn’t even made sure I was able to get there too, so he entered with some friends and I went alone with strange people on other cable car. I had a sort of panic attack there, because I’m afraid of that stuffs and because I was feeling so sad he didn’t even care, and I’m on this trip just because it’s important for him, I was not into that trip. Then while in the snow on that day I got the stomach flu and was feeling really bad, so we were in the ski and I went back home, he didn’t come with me which was ok because we went there for ski and I was not that bad. But then he arrived to the hotel with our friends, and I was not better, indeed feeling way worse. The friends wanted to go out for some drinks and he asked me if I wanted him to stay, I said no because I don’t want anyone to stay with me because I asked for it, I want him to stay because he feels he should stay. And he said “ok I’ll go, it will be fast but if you need anything let me know”. I asked him to buy me some stuff I needed to get better when arriving from the drinks. He stayed there for 1h and 30min, I was not good at all, and during that time I sent him 2 texts saying that I was not feeling good at all. Nothing. No reply. Arrives home after drinks, without even reading my messages and went to she supermarket to buy beers but doesn’t buy anything of what I asked to help me get better. Is it me? Is it unreasonable to be really sad and angry about this? 1st I would not leave him alone if he was feeling that bad. 2nd at least would be paying attention to the phone and go there for just a few time, not 1h30 without even caring on the phone. 3rd he complete forgot I was feeling bad because he indeed went to the supermarket but didn’t buy anything of what I asked, so I assume he was not caring at all of how I was feeling. This situations are not the first time, I feel like he is not meeting my expectations of what a partner should be like, I would do different with him and I always expect the others to care about me as I care about them. But I feel like he never does on the same level as of what I do and expect from him. If someday I have a serious disease I’m not sure he will be there for me the way that I would be for him and what I consider acceptable. What are your thoughts on this? I’ve been struggling a lot lately putting my self on his positions and thinking if I would go to the drinks with him feeling so bad at home. The truth is that there was nothing he could do there, just giving me teas, emotional support, and help me vomiting. Am I over reacting? Or is this something normal to expect from the person you are sharing your life for almost 7 years and living together for 5 years?