Is it the end?

I (22) have been with my boyfriend (24) for two years. I am a quiet person usually when it comes to my family at some occasions and other people, I keep my feelings bottled up, and put others before me. My boyfriend is quiet as well, mainly with my family because he stutters when he’s nervous and my family can be overwhelming. But, he’s very opinionated and tells it like it is, and he pays for his own finances. His relationship with his parents kinda feels more like a friendship at times meanwhile my relationship with my parents, I’m terrified of them at times. I was neglected a little growing up, forced to become independent at a young age because their attention was on my sisters (one is special needs). They control all my finances, I have a tracker on my phone. I have told them I am willing to pay for my own things to help with finances but they told me no and said they said they would do this before having kids. I have been told multiple times by my boyfriend that I need to stand up for myself and say something to them because they have a strong hold on me

Recently an incident occurred where he was talking about getting a car, and was explaining something. He has seen my relationship with my youngest sister (16) and that we joke around with each other calling each other names. So while explaining, he pointed at her and called her a moron. He has a problem with his tone and the way he says things so it sounded like he was being serious. But I found out he meant it as a joke and didn’t mean it in that way but my sister took it the wrong way. She later told my parents three days later and that’s when they told me that they never liked him, they don’t want me to be with him anymore and I had to break up with him. I didn’t want to from the beginning. When I told him I think we should take a break it broke my heart and we both sobbed uncontrollably and decided we needed to work on ourselves, but we wanted to do it together. This bothered my parents and they didn’t speak to me for three days, which bothered me because I could sense they were mad and it made it unbearable to be home.

My parents and I eventually got into a big fight and they said if I choose him to give everything to them to see if he will take me out. We both have jobs and he is in school right now to be a PTA, he pays his own tuition, and shares a car with his parents. There have been times that plans have been cancelled due to his parents taking the car without telling him, and he always complains about money. But during the fight with my parents I told them that we agreed to be friends. But we have been secretly still together for the past 4 weeks. He told me he would fight for us and that he wasn’t going anywhere and things were going to change and get better with him coming to see me. He’s been coming every Friday after I get out of work for the last 4 weeks to see me. I had some health issues the week after the big fight with my parents that I ended up in the hospital. I’m scheduling appointments to see what was wrong and putting myself first before trying to change things with my parents and make it better for me and him. But today something changed.

Today, he told me that he couldn’t live the lie anymore. I’m only coming to see me for not even an hour after I get out of work on Fridays and he also feels like I haven’t been trying to make things better for me at home and for us I have tried to explain to him that I’m trying to put my health first, which is me putting myself first as well, which I never do. I know this whole situation has to be hard on him too but what he doesn’t understand is that I am stuck in the middle. I feel like I’m being pulled every which way between him wanting me to do something and my parents wanting me to do something.

I don’t want to lose him in my life. We grew up in each other, knew the same people and found each other at 20 and 22. We are also going into the same profession. So in a way it feels like we were meant to be together. But this whole situation has caused a lot of damage in our relationship and hearing him say he loves me, but he can’t live this life anymore I feel like he’s giving up on us which broke my heart. We haven’t spoken to each other in two hours. I don’t want to lose them is the love of my life the person I wanna be with anything to me, but my parents are so controlling and won’t let me be with the person that makes me the happiest because it’s not good enough for them and “not a good look for the family”. I just need some advice on what to do. I’m sorry for the rant everyone