Issues in my long distance relationship
So i am in a long distance relationship for 8
months now and the first 6 months went good
but lately my gf seems to be ignoring me a
bit but that didnt bother me i just thought
she might be buys but now she has started
to say some mean things to me and | have
started to feel like i am the only one putting
efforts and today she said that "i couldn't do
anything for her" And that was hurting cuz i
have been doing everything i can for her and
I have always been there for her whenever
she was sad i always try to do the things she
wants me to do for her but now it just feels like
she doesn't wan to be with me anymore and
lately i have been getting many thoughts about
breaking up with her but i can't cuz i still love
her and i don't wanna hurt her and i can't leave
cuz it hurts to think about it but i think i should
cuz it hurting more to stay than leaving her cuz
I can't take it anymore and It hurts a lot when
she says things like that to me so what should i
do should i break up with her or should i not?
@Yiqng769
Hi, I'm sorry you've been experiencing that. 💜 Your relationship felt fine for 6 months but lately it feels like your girlfriend has been ignoring you, saying mean things, and claiming that you aren't able to do anything for her... which hurts a lot because you've really tried to do everything for her, care for her when she's said, do things she likes, etc.
You're unsure whether or not you want to break up because it feels like regardless of what you do, it might be painful either way. If you break up, it feels lonely not having her. If you stay, it hurts feeling lonely being with someone who isn't there for you.
I can't say for sure what the right thing is to do. But I've sort of used my imagination a bit and written something expressing what those two options might each look like if they go well.
- Option #1: You could try talk to her, ask her what she feels unhappy about that you're not currently doing, see if you're able to better understand what her needs are, and then try to do certain things that might help her feel supported and cared for. You could also possibly express some of your own feelings of wanting her to be there for you if you're in a relationship with her, ask her if she'd be willing to do certain things, and try to negotiate something that works for both of you. And you might be able to have a more satisfying relationship where both of you feel happy with things.
- Option #2: If the situation feels unfixable, or you feel like she's given up on you and the relationship, or you feel like you've tried all that you're willing to try and it isn't worth the trouble, then you can cut your losses and break things off. You might feel lonely for a little while, but it would possibly feel better than trying to depend on someone who isn't there. You can invest the energy you're putting into the relationship (i.e. someone who isn't there for you) into things you enjoy in your personal life or into forming new connections with other people who might be there for you.
Having read each of those, which option feels like it appeals to you more?