Is this space or a breakup?
Two days ago my boyfriend finally reached a breaking point with me and told me to get away from him and leave him alone. We live in a two bedroom apartment so I said that I can take what ever I needed out of our room and go into the other room. When I said him was he breaking up with me he didn’t answer that question but he made it very clear he wanted me out of his space. We have been friends for 11 years and in a relationship for 1 year as of this weekend. It’s not uncommon for him to have these moments where he goes days without speaking to me but it was the first time that he voiced how fed up he is with me. I have a history of failed relationships due to cheating and even though I thought I was ready for a new relationship I realized Iv carried that baggage into our connection and now I’m afraid he is done and won’t see the purpose of sticking it out with me any longer. Iv been in the other room sense Sunday and as bad as I want to go talk to him I feel like I should just stay in the other room and see what he decides to do because in the past it’s always me running back and starting up the conversation to get back okay again and sense he was so upset this last time I feel like I should wait. Does anyone have any advice? I could use someone to talk to right now:(
Hey June, I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm no expert, but it seems like there are a few options you could consider. Maybe the first thing would be to think about what you want to happen next? Do you want this behaviour to stop, or are you alright waiting it out and then talk about it? You could try to sit him down and have a conversation about what is going on between you two and try to fix it and save your relationship. Maybe it can't be fixed, maybe you or he don't want to, and that could also be oke, but then you know you tried everything. You could also wait it out and see when he comes to you, but that might take a long time. You should ask yourself if that's the kind of relationship you really want, or if you'd prefer to be with someone who is respects you enough and is willing to talk with you about his feelings, so you actually know where you are at, or how you could adjust either of your behaviour to both be happy. I hope this helps a little bit and that you're doing well at this point. Love, pien
@JuneStar93,
how about just telling him how you feel? No thinking, no wild guessing, just open and share your feelings with him. As for your past, have you ever considered seeking help? Someone who can help you to be, to be your true inner self. Your true self is not your past, and you should not let your thoughts rule your world. Little things might help to stay within the now, like breathing and being aware of breathing. Or sit down in a park, and enjoy nature, by "focusing" (being aware) of nature. Hear the wind in the trees, see how the sunlight breaks through the leaves, smell the soil after a fresh rain. Life can be simple, as long as you don't let your thoughts rule your world. Have unconditionsl love for self, is all you need.