Just thoughts on modern relationships..
These are really my thoughts more than anything and wondered if anyone shared the same.
I'm 51 years old and have experienced dating and a long term relationship over 30 years and so much has changed. After a 7 year gap of being on my own Ive gone through the modern way of dating and now in a new relationship. However, myself and others have found that there is an uneasiness to relationships and it does seem to be exacerbated by social media.
Gone are the days it seems of being dedicated to one person, it seems we feel we are entitled to contact, communicate and interact with many others and of the opposite sex and as it is online it is deemed as ok and acceptable and causes no harm.
I think not, it is damaging to relationships. Anxiety, loss of confidence and breakdown in communication are the symptoms I seem to be coming across from people struggling to hold onto their relationship. How many men or women in a, relationship no longer feel a priority to their partner? Do others get their attention first or hold it for a longer time. How many feel they do match up physically to the 'friends', or the perfect ones that their partner follow on social media.
How many 'conversations' are held between 'just friends' , (opposite sex ones mainly) that are not disclosed to their partner. Before social media these things were on a small scale and caused only a little stress but today its going on 24/7 with no relief. It erodes relationships, creates distance from the real people in your life as opposed to those on the other side of a screen.
Phones etc have facitated a world of secrecy for each user. They hide behind a screen, living in a virtual world and ignoring the real one infront of them. It frightens me how lost they can get in that world and in turn forget what's going on in their real world.
In all honesty. I am struggling with this world of technology drawing us away from the real people in our
lives. I think it steals time and connection from those around us and instead of making our world bigger it makes it so small, diluting the love and connection of the real people who should matter to us.
Many mention that this is insecurity, but it is not. Its about respecting a relationship and being responsible in a relationship. If you are single then by all means carry on but it all changes when you choose to commit to someone. Respect and responsibility seem to be undervalued these days so I'm surprised relationships are not sustained.
** I meant to say I'm Not surprised relationships are not sustained **
@intelligentTiger5312 I agree. Social media technology (in the broad sense, including 7 Cups) has turned out to be a way to make it acceptable to be inauthentic.
Hi @IntelligentTiger5312,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
And I understand excessive use social media is ruining real relationships like anything if we use without any limit. Well it's an addiction and any addiction is bad. If something is materialistic thing is controlling us, that's definitely bad. So one have to set limit.
And what you share I understand what you are expressing, sometimes it's overwhelming. I know! But the same time we can't ignore it as well, right ? Do you think one can think about a world without video call? When my father was abroad he used to send post and it reaches us sometimes in one month or so (just 22-23 years back) but now my mom can't think a day that she can't see his grandson 2-3 times a day. So like anything it has huge advantage and if we use it responsible it's really good technology to have. But at the same time like you said it's gonna ruin everything.
Once again thank you for sharing it, I hope it'll help you to make at least a few people to think about it and use the technology wisely. It did to me, thank you ❤
I totally agree that it if used wisely the technology is amazing and beneficial, similar to a box of matches but if used incorrectly it can be destructive and burn badly.
We all have to be mindful with our actions when it comes to using our phones etc, each time we use them we should ask 'what am I going to gain from this', 'will my action hurt or offend someone important to me', 'could I be doing something more productive'?
Exactly! It's always important to do self-analysis each time you make a decision, reflecting you and those around you.
But people tend to do self-blame instead of self-analysis and learn something from it. I believe it's the productive way. Even though you do mistake at least you learn something from it.
