Learning From Bad Experiences

Hi, it's Imp.

After going through some bad (relationship) experiences, I'm starting to feel more confident in dating and I KNOW what I want now, and a bit more open.

Just to give some background, I was with my son's dad for 3yrs. He was physically, verbally and financially abusive[i.e. stole my money to buy alcohol, he was an alcoholic]. Then I left him after calling the cops and getting evicted, and ended up getting into some type of "relationship" with my younger brother's (player) friend. He was not very upfront with me on anything, and lied. Already had a GF and used me it seems [also, I'm bisexual -- the reason I state this is because creepy swingers try to use me as a 3rd person in their relationship, his GF KNOWS of me and seen me around and she was OK with me and player's relationship. So fucking creepy...I hate swingers that try to force their shit on you without you knowing, I really do.]

Anyways... I started dating recently, found some cute men/women, and I feel more confident stating what I want.

I definitely DONT want a serious relationship right now, based on everything going on [ex. Got out of an abusive relationship, dealing with court, dealing with ex/son's dad ect."] I just... Want to enjoy the other person's presence and not worry. If it becomes serious or if I start to have feelings, I will definitely speak up.

I also don't want to be in a serious relationship with ANYONE who has a bad record like my ex and my younger brother's player friend. I understand 2nd chances but...Yeah no.. I'm good off of that. I recently date a guy with a record...and I'm already thinking "nope" in terms of having a serious relationship. I'm going to let him know later, because he's VERY attached to me right now...

I want someone who I can hold conversations with AND KNOW HOW TO F*CKING text or call [yes, you wouldn't believe some people...I prefer face-to-face communication, but if you can't reach them, then text & call are the next options]. Also, someone that ISN'T obsessed with work/school and only talk about that...or only watches movies all day...

I want someone who's a good influence and pushes me to be better, someone who's inspirational...Doesn't just party and do (hard) drugs all day[like the player friend].

I also only date within 5yrs of my age range... I'm scarred from my parents. They were 20yrs apart and ALWAYS argued never got along... Also, it's a creepy power dynamic too... I don't want to date little 18y.o., because I'd feel like a creep, they JUST graduated highschool, and I won't date someone that's 15+yrs older than me...

I started online dating [NEVER in. A million years would I thought I'd do that], and it's not too bad. I think it's easy to filter people out and get what you want. I met a guy recently on there, I don't think we're a good fit personally, but he seems nice and not like he'll flip out on me.

What have you guys learnt from your bad dating/relationship experiences?

②What are you looking for in a relationship?