Long distance anxiety
Me and my boyfriend have been in a long distance for about 1 and a half year now. Both our parents are strict about dating so we've met only once last August. Not meeting him does make me feel a little upset. But he doesn't give me time. In the day he has classes. Goes to to play in the evening. Then at night he either has an assignment or he has plans with his family friends. And during his exams, it feels like he has completely forgotten me. I don't know how it is easy for him to stay without talking but it's not at all easy for me. And I feel very bad when I argue with him. Before when he used to have exams he said sorry can't talk gotta study. But now it's just good night and good morning in the whole day. And I feel when he means his I love you and sorry. This time it doesn't seem like he actually means it. What am I supposed to do? I can't argue with him with his exams going on. Please help me. I'm feeling very anxious and I cry almost every night because of this.
@pluckyAvocado5396 It seems like you've tried your best to be understanding of him and make the relationship work despite being long-distance. From what you described, he seems to spend a lot of time focused on school, family, and other things which you'd want to be reasonable about but it hurts when exams come up and he doesn't designate as much attention to you. Of course, it would be hard to go without talking because you care about him so much and crave his company. It's kind of you not to want to argue with him when exams are going on but I can also see how much it hurts you not to be able to communicate that you need more validation than he's giving and you feel insecure in the relationship.
I've been in similar situations where I spent a lot of time crying and feeling lonely because I didn't get as much reciprocation from my partners as I wanted to. It feels so heart-crushing to constantly anxiously check your phone to see if someone texted or not and constantly crave more validation than they're giving.
I think the best you can do is try to take care of yourself and your feelings regardless of how painful things are and try to find ways to cope by seeking support, whether it's here, from friends, or therapy. What else can you do other than focus on him that'd bring happiness to your life? Have you done any research on codependency? These would be good questions to think about. You deserve love and attention. Whenever you feel like would be good timing, it might be a good idea to bring up how insecure you feel and crave validation although you appreciate him being in your life. I think there's definitely a difference between a healthy conversation about getting your emotional needs met versus arguing but it takes a lot of effort and patience to communicate well sometimes.
I wish you well and I hope reading this brings you some comfort.
Hey dear, here to listen if you want ♡ so sorry for whatever happened :(
