Mom makes it difficult to keep contact with close friends outside of Facebook
I sometimes wish I could be in more personal contact, um still maintain my ties to some of my "high school" girl friends. For the purpose of this thread I'm going to call the friends Sage (my oldest friend, and the only one I actually remember from childhood because of our church), Lucy (She and I were in Sparks together when we were 5 but we didn't meet up again until Gr.9/10 when we're in confirmation class but she reintroduced herself to me but I had seen snippets of her in the school hall), Kira (no snippets about her except her boyfriend is a year or 2 older then us), and Shelby (been with her now-husband for the longest time). Both Sage and Shelby live in or around the Toto, the capital city of our province.
The problem is I can't go into "Toto" without a body guard so just asking my Mom to let me go see them is a never ending problem. I think the reason I can't go into Toto is has to do with cops not being nice to people with Mental health or psychically disabilities
Story 1:
As a young adult after Sage & Shelby moved with their now husbands to and around Toto- I asked my Mom several times and every single time I asked Mom was constantly saying "We'll See" which in Mom-talk means "No" coming from her. Which was really annoying for someone who was at the time in her mid 20s.
Story 2:
Some years later I asked Mom again the same question as in Story 1 and Mom was like "This is what would happen"
1.Mom and I would go into Toto together
2. while I'm catching up with one friend or the other she's goes and does something else
3. she and I meet back up
4. Don't know?
________________
I really don't like having a bodyguard to go into Toto. I mean if they meet me at the station like Aunt M (Mom's sister) meet Mom and I at the station near her about 19 years ago do I really need a bodyguard for Toto just to go into it? Especially when I'm perfectly capable of taking the train both directions by myself.
Mini Stories:
a) I mean the first time I took a train by myself was coming home to Willow-and Mom had to pay for my ticket, and rushed me to the accessible car and put me in there because she had to stay in Toto for a "teacher's thing" (conference?).
b)The second time I went on the train it was going into Toto and I was 17 almost 18 then. Mom was already in Toto for teacher's conference like before. So Dad drove me to the station, and I brought my ticket and I went up to the platform, because at the time I was not very familiar with the stops despite basically growing up on the train- I decided to sit in the accessible car just so I could make sure I get off at the right stop.
Story 3:
The last time I asked Mom about seeing the Toto friends- my Mom was like "You could visit them at their parents when they next visit" which isn't the same as 1)being in or around Toto and 2)it would be awkward being at Shelby's parents house since I don't know her parents.
I know- Sage's parents (childhood friend), Lucy's Mom and I know her Dad in passing, I know Kira's parents because Shelby's, Lucy and I went to their home once in high school for a school project for my Dad's class.
(I thought I should make this thread before I make a different thread about something related to this topic)
@Disneywoman
it sounds frustrating how your mother wouldn't really let you see your friends Sage and Shelby.
and i understand how you do not like the idea of having a 'bodyguard' with you, especially since you were already an adult.
it's quite sad how your mother does not understand that it's better for you to meet your friends in Toto rather in your hometown. :(
@KateDoskocilova
I think the reason I'm not allowed to go into Toto on my own despite almost growing up in there as much as I "grew up" on the train if you know what I mean by that- is that they're afraid of me having a melt down about something minor like a sidewalk being blocked, or a subway is late and I will be arrested and put into jail or something. Toto Cops are not kind to disabled people with mental problems.
But even w/o meeting friends.. during the time when I was forced to have my Dad at my appointments in 2016-2019- in late 2018, and early 2019 (check the Anxiety from Dad/and some from my sister thread) - I literally begged my Mom to let me go on my Doctor's appointment on my own to the doc's appointments in Toto. Just anything not to have Dad take me.
I even made an entire schedule- I would take X train to Toto's Union Station take the TTC (Toto Transit company)- to X station which is almost outside of the hospital I need to go too, go to the blood work lab, take out my healthcare card, take a number, get called, and then go have lunch at their cafeteria, and then go upstairs and wait for my appointment.
Depending on if my appointment doesn't get delayed- I could go do something else afterwards like go to the Museum, or something. Then go have supper someplace and then come home on the same train system.
and despite that schedule I STILL had to take my Dad because in Mom's words "I might not be able to understand the doctor on my own". She doesn't think about the fact they're might be causing that problem?
But she finally allowing me to start the process of being in the doctor's room by myself.-Mom or Dad can be in the room for questions only but for the exam they'll leave.
When I had my appointment with my family doctor in Nov -I had to ask Mom to come in a couple of times because I couldn't really answer/not used to having to answer for myself due to too many years of having an adult be in the room with me when discussing shots and such even though I was an adult as well at the time. But my Dad apparently got really annoyed when Mom and I got back in the car that I had to call Mom back in twice but really its none of his business
