Navigating Relationships

Wow, so many questions! 😮

1. I'm a teen so my idea of a perfect relationship might not change much. When I was younger, my idea of a perfect relationship is maybe using your strengths to fullfill each other, communication is really important, support your partner when they have a hard time.

But now, I understand that you don't need to support your partner only when they have a hard time, you can support them anytime. And sometimes we don't need to understand each others problems, we just need to respect our partners and understand if the problems they are having are hard. I also understand that, in a relationship, we need to fully accept each other.

2. Probably dedication, supportiveness, respect, empathy, and so on...

3. You know, when I was younger, I thought online friendships are always shallow but it's not always like that. When I found this app and saw people having really close and healthy friendships, I understand that texting or talking or writing is just the base of communication. The real thing that is important is the empathy.

4. I still can't answer that question

5. My struggles sucks and messed up but it teaches me some lessons and help understand other people's struggles. I don't know what my current challenges are but I'm coughing so hard rn.

6. Universal love is love that is very conscious. Relationship love is a conscious decision.

7. Self care are ways to take care of yourself. Balance responsibility and breaktime

8. There are always a balance of giving and taking in a good relationship

9. Trauma, trust issues, mental disorder, bad environment. Find supportive community, get some mental help.

10. Income, healthy life, social support, freedom, trust, generosity.

1. I used to believe that a working relationship meant always forgiving one another, but I have come to realize that not everyone is capable of that. Resentment can snowball out of control. Now days, I look forward to the good times and accept the times when my partner needs to air their grievances about old issues that never seem to go away.
2. A good partner loves unconditionally, but I’ll settle for an okay partner.
3. I tell newly wedded grooms, “happy wife, happy life,” but it’s easy to give advice you don’t take.
4. It is important for me to make sure my son feels safe and is taken care of, often to the detriment of my relationship.
5. When it rains it pours, and will always rain eventually. I do see challenges as character building. What doesn’t “get” you, makes you stronger. The meaning of life is transcendence. I’m always trying to become better than I am, but I’m not always successful.
6. Universal love must be the patience and kindness we can show for one another. Relationship love is the same but with oxytocin in the mix.
7. Self-care is the time we use for ourselves unselfishly. I think about how the airlines instruct us to put the oxygen masks on ourselves before we put them on our co-rider. Before we can help others, we have to remember to help ourselves. It’s important to take inventory of our emotions and energy levels to recognize when we need to take a break and focus inward.
8. In a good (read o.k.) relationship, there should be an equal give and take of emotional labor, or as close to equal as is possible given the circumstances. I try to take in to account my partners life experiences and adjust accordingly.
9. Mental isolation and loneliness can be brought on by poor expectation management. Being alone isn’t inherently bad, but social media an media in general will give you the feeling that it is. Joining online groups or IRL clubs have been my go to methods of feeling connected when I feel connectionless.
10. In an ideal happy society people always choose the greater good. Utopia might not be possible but the next best thing is the next best thing.

Hello! I really love posts like these where I can reflect.

1. What used to be my idea of a perfect relationship, how it changed? -When I was still inexperienced I always thought that your partner and you should be 50/50. The perfect partner would split bills with you, split chores with you, share your problems, etc. When I got into a relationship I realized that it’s not 50/50 all the time. I think the ideal relationship is something where you think you’re only giving 20 but actually to the other person it’s a 90 or 100. Something light on your end but is just what your partner needs. I feel like you really need to be in tune to your partner’s needs, and if this comes easily to you then I guess that relationship is already better than most and very near ideal.
2. What’s the most important quality in your partner and how you practice it? -Definitely logic, patience and empathy. You need to call them out when you don’t understand where they’re coming from, you have to try to understand somehow and even if you don’t, be patient with them as long as you’re not hurting yourself. I always remember this biblical verse about love “Love is patient love is kind...” I say it in my mind replacing love with “I” when I am about to burst. If I can’t, it’s probably not love anymore.
3. Life lessons after relationship experience. -Actually, I hated having engaged in a relationship, I feel like it brings more problems more than it’s worth. Don’t rush your relationships, just do you and a good person will come.
4. What’s most important for you in your life? -Definitely goals, support and purpose. Something to get you out waves of bad times or depression when they come.
5. Struggles and challenges? -Yeah I feel like they are really important. If you haven’t been down once you won’t understand the value of being happy. To me, the saddest moments are those that make the best memories if you get through it. I write it somewhere it can take physical form before my emotions take up all my brainspace.
6. Idea of universal love? -Just allowing people to be who they are and supporting what they want to be. Trying to understand them even when it’s hard. Not rewriting who they are and who they’re supposed to be.
7. Self-care? -For me, self-care is allowing yourself to be you. Feeling your feelings, letting them flow and go. Sometimes they can be overwhelming though, and your depression tends to overwrite your identity. Seek help in relearning who you are and do things you love as a reminder.
8. Reciprocy? -Sometimes good sometimes neutral. Some others need to be loved differently, some show how they should be loved so in those cases you need to reciprocate. Again, stay in tune to your partner’s needs. Make them clear.
9. Mental Isolation? -As an introvert it’s really hard for me to reach out first. I usually find people through being in the same interests as them. Engage in your interest and you won’t be isolated.
10. Ideal society values? -Definitely empathy, understanding and kindness.