Needing some feedback or support.
I guess I will start from the start. Everyone gains a crush on someone and most likely gets rejected. I guess I built up a "numbing" or way to not be affected by it. Last year, I was used emotionally by a few female friends I had, and I was always there for someone even when someone wasn't there for me, and it was fine since I pushed down my emotions and dealt with the later. Recently, a girl started to like me, and we have been dating for a solid 2 months and growing but, don't get me wrong, I love her and wouldn't want to leave ever but I feel like I am the worst person for her, and she could use better. Even with her reassuring words and paragraphs from her I still feel the same day after day and from her seeing I have been mentally abused and grown up to deal with it. To summarize, I cannot get out of my own headspace and see the greatness in front of me and I am stuck on the past and seeing all the bad outcomes before the good outcomes and also overthink everything.
I think you should take some time alone to heal yourself. She will understand and be there to support you. It’s important to heal your past so your future can be the best!!!
@picklebae I can understand that but I don't want to take a break :(. And, I don't know how to start healing myself and focus on now.
In what way do you feel you're the worst person for her? How do you think you will wind up sabotaging things by hurting her? It's important to remember that we're all human and as such, we're going to inevitably make mistakes in relationships, and sometimes accidentally hurt the person we love most. This is a normal part of relationships and doesn't make you a bad person. The important part is that you work as a team to mend things when damage has been done, so you can improve moving forward.
If you don't feel like you're in the right mental space to be the best version of yourself for your partner, and that you need to heal from your past, going to therapy can be a good start for this. It can help you process your unhealed emotions so you can feel more empowered in your relationships.
You don't have to end things with your partner, just continue to be open and honest about your insecurities. Also, give the relationship more time to build. You may feel more confident in yourself in a few more months. Especially if you start going to therapy or work on healing and loving yourself.