Push on after 6 years or let go?

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a little over 6 years now. Things have been rocky for a lot of our relationship. When we first started dating problems rose up and we broke up about 2 times. Each time we ended up back together. Things started getting really bad when we both left our toxic work place (we also worked together) I leaving first and him not long after due to an entirely separate incident. I bounced back quickly landing a job I’ve been at for 4 years now! It took him nearly a year to bounce back and get going. I’m this time he moved back home which in theory was to help on money, but instead it seemed he began getting worse. I noticed he began drinking heavily, which I knew would not be good for the depression he already struggled with. Throughout this time I have been trying my hardest to better myself mentally and grow as a person. I feel as though he’s trapped in one place refusing to see a problem. He did eventually get a job about a year later which did not last long. Now after completely blowing off a good opportunity with a job he tells me he is applying places but I’m not sure I trust it. Ideally I know the type of person I want to be with and I feel myself questioning if that person is him.. the hard part is I feel as though im making a mistake if I leave. What if im wrong? The times when things are good but I know how crazy that sounds! For a long time now I’ve felt myself growing distant from him and he’s noticed. But I just don’t know how to approach it. I feel so isolated. Things reached a head on our birthdays. His being first I had planned to take him to a nice dinner and exchange gifts when we arrived home. Thankfully he has limited his drinking but I’ve noticed that’s only when he as access to our legal dispensary’s. We do live in a legal state but he normally doesn’t have the money. I’ve had to explain I will not be his source numerous times. The day before his birthday we got into a huge argument and I explained I had no desire to go to dinner at this point. I was furious. I tried to let it go but due to my work schedules I was unable to make it up to him. Fast forward to about 2 weeks later, my birthday. The previous week he have me the gifts I wanted, (things from my work which he bought from me) but did not acknowledge my birthday at all until I pointed it out to him at 5 in the evening. To some (like him) it’s not a big deal at all, to me I find it hurtful as this is not the first time he’s done this. I told him how unacceptable it is which I received a response of “he can’t remember his own mothers so don’t play that card”. This was now 5 days ago and I have hardly talked to him. I just am at a loss. He tells me I never want to talk about our problems but when I do it’s the same cycle over and over. I tell him what I’m bothered by, after a bit of arguing back and forth I hear “so that’s it I’m the bad guy” and it always ends there. I don’t even know how to put into words what to say at this point as I kinda have a feeling what I will get back. He tells me how much he loves me and dammit I do love him to but I just don’t know if it’s what’s right for me anymore…