Random thought of the night and self reflection

So I’m sitting here and thinking about the past relationships I’ve had. I do have a savior complex and always feel guilty and that everyone can be helped. I’ve been willing to sacrifice my dignity and overall self respect in so many situons. And tonight I ended with another argument. The argument was based on me expressing to partner that I do not want to engage with their family because of their mistreatment of me in the past. They threw and insult, got mad and blamed me for not forgiving and forgetting. Funny thing is I was MISERABLE for months of suppressing my feelings of their disrespect to me and ongoing disrespect to partner (which partner excuses of course). I said my boundary is surface convo because I just can’t ever trust them based on what I experienced. They blamed me and accused me of not liking their family and never once saw my perspective.

This was another drunken argument on their part where they throw insult and blame the alcohol, but it’s the same without it. I was also told I need to know how to keep their temper at bay when they’re mad smh. I asked how would you feel if my family disrespected you for no reason and I guilted your about not wanting to visit them, blame came back on me. I told them I came with an open mind willing to accept them but their actions changed my opinion. Partner still says anyone else would just deal with it. same person who constantly throws love your around and promise rings, talks about the family to me. One day she sees my side, next she’s on theirs.

then it dawned on me, do I not love myself enough to leave these situations? And why am I attracting such situations? I’m in a phase where I don’t want to keep guilt tripping myself in situations when I tried my best, so I’m looking for ways to approach this to better myself and show myself actual real love. What does it take? Any advise would be appreciated.