Retroactive jealousy
My SO has pretty severe retroactive jealousy and cannot seem to stop having vivid thoughts about me and my past sexual relationships. He knows that the thoughts are irrational but he hasn’t been able to stop them. He is not worried about me having any current relations with any of them and the only issue is he cannot stop the images in his head. Whenever he has these thoughts he gets quiet and upset and doesn’t talk to me for hours-days, which makes me feel like he’s taking it out on me. I also have a tendency to become defensive and make things about me when he tells me what’s wrong. I want to be able to support him, but I also feel judged and hurt with the way he talks about my past. Any advice on how to be able to support him? Has anyone else experienced these issues? I can’t fully relate to what he’s experiencing, so I feel unable to help him fully.
@Wisephoenix
That's tough and sounds unhealthy to keep going back to the past. Understandable that you got hurt and feel judged. What could be the underlying issue he has that he seems have difficulty to share what he feels his? Even when it is a past life.
From my point of view, to continue, you have 2 options that are obvious now:
1. He changes his thinking pattern. So, both of you can be more comfortable in the relationship.
2. You change your thinking pattern whenever it happens and take it as it is not about you and it's his issue to fix. (I'm aware this is very...tough to do)
Which would be within your control?
