She needs space as for her

I kinda have a very complicated relationship that was ended a few weeks ago and i get over it i guess but sometimes when i am alone i am still feeling it. Me and my girlfriend ended what we have cause the reason is i am still married but seperated and my wife do not want an annulment and she is not cooperating with me. My girlfriend is my highschool crush and i dis not expect that we will fell inlove with each other, but months past she started to change and i got worries that time cause i feel it, by the way we are in a long distance relationship. So i confronted her and asked cause i felt that there is someone else, but when i confronted her she got angry and said “ is that what you think about me” i said no but it kinda feels like that cause you are avoiding me and everytime we talk it is like that you’re irritated, and then she said that she felt guilty of what we have cause she said that in the eyes of other people ahe is still a mistress cause my wife do not want a divorce. I understand her and i felt guilty to cause she wants us to be legal but we are hiding it cause her parents will not allow what we have because of me. So i decided to let her go and she said we can be good friends, but until now we are still communicating, she still send kissing emoji and one day when i was deunk with my friends, she called me and then message me to take care and said i love you love, but when i asked her the next day she just smile and said that we cannot be together again, so it confuse me, did she still loves me but hesitating because of my situation? Or she is just letting it slowly and after that she will pull herself away to me completely? Or she is just waiting me to come home in our country where she’s there and i don’t really know, i wish she will just tell me that she have someone new so i can get over it but reality it is painful for me if it happens