Should I be concerned?
my boyfriend made a joke the other day and i was playing along with the joke, but i guess i took it past his comfort zone (which i apologized for), but his reaction was more intense than i have ever seen. he got this angered look on his face and choked me. we playfully choke each other on occasion, but never to the fact that we can’t breathe. this time was wayyy more intense and i don’t know if this is a sign that it’s going to lead to something else or if he genuinely didn’t understand his strength.
I understand your concern but he shouldn't have reacted the way he did if he didnt realize his strength and honestly speaking you should have a conversation about it with him to better understand what happened. If you've experienced any other previous red flags in your relationship then it could probably indicate something more but obviously I don't know how ur relationship is so you will have to be the judge of that. Also if he realised u couldn't breathe did he apologize after realising what had happened?
If you feel at all unsafe, it is best to let people you do trust (family, close friends, mentors) know about the situation in the best detail you can. It also may be a good idea to have them regularly check in on you by text, app, etc to make sure you are safe. If you feel like it isn't dangerous, trying to communicate with him and sure that he knows what happened is unacceptable could help if you intend to stay in the relatonship. Please be very cautious if you choose to do so, and do not put yourself at risk or in a situation where others don't know where you are.
I read advice from a domestic abuse awareness website before, that said couples shouldn't jokingly insult each other because it might lead to physical fights. A lot of play fighting and play insulting leads to real fighting and real insulting later. Even if you both lacked awareness over the situation at first.